Now that summer con season is revving up again, I wanted to make a post and a PSA about something that happened a few months back at Katsu:
My dear friend Em/bedsafely came with us to the midnight SMT/Persona gathering dressed as Noriko Kashiwagi, pictured above to the right. We were standing off to the side while some other photos were being taken, when a Ryoji cosplayer, who I think was running the gathering, sauntered up to us. (I will not post his photo or handle because the internet dogpile mentality gets terrifyingly out of hand, and this specific instance is not the point of this post.) He gestured to Em, and said, “I’d like to take a photo with you.” No big deal, nothing out of the ordinary, but the way he said it caught the attention of the rest of us, and we all turned to him.
“I’m going to wrap my scarf around our shoulders, and I want you to lean in with me like we’re whispering something to each other.” The tone he used was extremely flirtatious, and it was clear he was attempting to be in-character for Ryoji, who is a ladies man. But Em didn’t know him, this was his conversation starter, and so she laughed nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea. He then started trying to get Em to come with him, and wouldn’t drop the act.
“You are something,” he continued. Em replied with a sarcastic, “Haha, so are you” or something along those lines, and that’s when the last line was crossed.
“Well,” he said, “if there’s one thing they say about me, it’s that I have a nice cock.”
I heard the sound of car brakes screeching in my head.
Pulse was a little faster to recover from her shock. ”Wow,” she said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. I reached out a second later, grasping Em’s arm and pulling her toward me, turning my back to him so he was closed out of our circle, telling him, “She won’t be taking that photo with you.”
He tried to protest for a few seconds, arguing that he was “just being facetious”, but we ignored him and began to talk loudly among ourselves about how gross that was, and that we “couldn’t believe some people”. We moved away from the gathering after that to take our own photos, because there was no way we were sticking around when the whole thing was being run by this dude.
So, the point of this post is this:
- DO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THIS TO PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW. I feel like this shouldn’t need to be said, but I don’t understand how in the world he thought this was an acceptable comment to make to a stranger. I don’t care if you’re joking, this is not okay.
- “BUT I’M JUST BEING IN-CHARACTER!” IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR SEXUAL (OR ANY OTHER KIND) OF HARASSMENT. I understand media is rife with characters who do shitty things, that does not make it okay for you to do said shitty thing just because you’re dressed as them. Find a way to do it without making other people uncomfortable. A little bit of joking around is fine, but especially with strangers, it’s usually a good idea to introduce yourself out-of-character first. Not everyone’s going to appreciate your LARPing, even if they’re dressed from the same series as you. Similarly: someone being dressed as a certain character does not give you the excuse to treat them in the same shitty ways their media treats them. Full stop.
- LADIES: YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A LADY. While an overwhelmingly large percentage of grossness came from dudes, Em also got several awful comments from women at this con, including a girl who ran up to her, pointed at her chest, and just said “BOOOOOOOBS” over and over, nothing else. If you would not appreciate this comment from a dude, do not say it to someone else. It’s still sexual harassment coming from you!
- Honestly, just use your head. Look, I understand it’s really easy to get swept up in the convention atmosphere. When you’re surrounded by thousands of people who are similar to you, it doesn’t take much to forget you’re still among strangers. But bearing that in mind, it’s also not difficult to just keep things classier than this.
I’d like to repeat: this story is here as an example of some shitty behavior. I nor Em have any interest in this guy’s head on a pike, so we’re asking that there not be any pitchfork internet mobs sent after him in the interest of defending her honor.
Thanks for listening.
READ THE BOLDED, it’s important! I say this as someone who cosplays a lot of flirty characters, playing around with your friends is one thing, but being a creep isn’t excused because the character you’re cosplaying is a flirt!
Also, once again, ty linefaced & impureimpulse for looking out for me! I’m still a con newbie and have trouble with being assertive in situations like this.
Don’t. Don’t be That Asshole. Kinda glad we’re on opposite coasts from this for 362 days out of the year.
This. This this this this this. In character or not, this is not o.k. unless someone gives you permission! This goes for men and women, because I’ve seen women do this too. It only takes a second to ask for permission. If you want that in character shot, ask, and ask nicely, and if they say no then walk away, do NOT pressure them into it.
Anonymous
