queerlyblack:

queerlyblack:

I need to see two black women fall in love on screen

I can’t watch black media without it being tailored for straight people. I can’t watch queer media without it being completely white. I’m sick of having to imagine what a relationship would look like outside of these constricting boundaries. 

All of my queer black friends are imitating heterosexism in their relationships because that’s what they’ve been conditioned to accept as “normal.” Ideas of what it means to be dominant and submissive are predicated on heavily on masculinity being the pinnacle of control and assertion. It’s like if there’s no dom/sub then it’s not a “real” relationship. But in order for someone to feel strong, their partner must be perceived as being weak. 

This constricting, binary way of thinking is toxic and often goes unchallenged, especially in the queer community. It’s painfully obvious that the lack of black queer relationships in the media has created a vacuum in which we feel pressured to mimic the dominant society’s practices. We can do better. Discussions about people at the intersection of blackness and queerness is something that doesn’t get talked about enough and I’m over it. No more silence.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll bring it up again.

When I was 18 years old and experiencing my first girl crush, I actually thought I couldn’t be into girls. Not just because I was worried over people’s reactions, but I actually thought queerness was a white thing. Because that’s all I ever saw. Any LGBT character I saw in the media was white. So I actually thought, “This isn’t a thing with black people.”

Well, I suppose I should take that back, because on rare occasions the sassy gay black friend made an appearance, but heaven forbid that character actually got shown in any meaningful relationships beyond giving the heterosexual friend advice.

And I suppose there’s the exotic black woman. So being into girls just added to her sexiness. 

But an actual meaningful relationship? HA HA HA HA HA HA! 

Hell, even the Stonewall movie whitewashed the black, queer characters, and that was supposed to be a movie based on actual history. And this movie was released in 2015. Imagine what kind of impact that could’ve had on the black, queer crowd, to see those people on screen aiding in the LGBT movement. But nope. Guess we’re meant to be sassy friends or exotic eye candy. 

I’ve been in a relationship with the same woman for 14 years. Tell me again how my relationship isn’t meaningful?