I haven’t written fic in FOREVER but that’s the power of BNHA I guess.
Title: Two Steps To Breaking
Warnings: Angst, spoilers up to the Hideout Raid Arc
Pairings: BakuDeku
Summary: It wasn’t just his eyes now. His voice was softer than normal. The word he should’ve been using was so obvious, but what was the point with a hero like Deku? If manufactured hatred didn’t push the boy away, what in the hell would love do?
“Why do you hate him so much?”
Kirishima’s speech is passionate, Uraraka can admit that much. The messy haired, literally hard-headed boy speaks from the heart, and had they had better odds, Uraraka probably would’ve agreed with this rescue plan. Rescuing is what heroes do.
But no, she can’t agree to this.
Not this time.
Even when those once empty green eyes spark to life at the idea of saving quote, “Kacchan,” unquote.
But these are villains they’re going up against. Powerful villains. Scary villains. Led by a multiple-handed madman so unhinged that he showed up at a mall and wrapped his shriveled fingers around a teenage boy’s neck. Uraraka hasn’t forgotten that creepy smile, but more importantly, she hasn’t forgotten the terror in Deku’s eyes as he struggled to breathe.
“… it’s not… that I hate him.”
It was a quiet admission. Bakugou wasn’t sure why he’d even given it. Maybe it was because he felt a tinge of respect for the girl. Tiny and optimistic, she’d shown a ferocity in battle against him that’d taken everyone off guard. It was shameful that the crowd demanded he go easy on her.
“You said you did.”
“I know what I said,” he snapped back. She’d been there during that hero versus villain test. He’d belted out the words from the pits of his stomach and the idiot still stood to face him. “Hate isn’t the right word, but it’s the only one that makes sense.”
“Ok.” She didn’t understand, not really, but she pressed on. “So… why do you-”
“Because he’s already a goddamn hero.”
The speech isn’t necessary, not if the plan is to get Deku on board. Uraraka knows that. She’d heard his cry of anguish in those woods, saw him hunched over in defeat. They’d all tried to console him but it only led to more screaming, more pain, until Deku cried himself into unconsciousness.
Kirishima’s talking and Deku puts on his best listening face, but he’s already prepared to leave. He’d been in a miserable daze but now? Now, there’s a plan. Now, there’s a chance. If it were anyone else he maybe, maybe would’ve listened to reason. He’d want to rescue any of them but he’d stay in bed, fretting over whether or not the pros could do it.
But Bakugou?
Katsuki Bakugou?
No, he’s getting out of bed for him. He’s been hiding behind trees, watching that boy since first grade. He calls it admiration but they know, they all know, that this is the one he walks forward for, the one he punches All Might in the face for.
The one he breaks himself for.
It’s foolish. Just like a hero.
“What do you mean?”
Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the wall, as if it physically hurt to give Deku any kind of compliment. At least, that’s what Uraraka thought at first. The trick to Bakugou was to look at his eyes. She’d learned that while in the ring with him. He said one thing but his eyes betrayed him every time.
And his eyes, when he looked at Deku, were always so-
“You remember hearing about the incident with the sludge monster?”
“Huh?” Of course she did. All Might had smashed so hard that he’d changed the weather. Oh, and- “You mean when you were held hostage-” she stopped herself. No need to bring that up, especially when Bakugou growled like that. “Y-yeah, I remember.”
“That’s when it happened.”
Uraraka tilted her head, confused. “When what-”
“When he became a fucking hero,” he sneered.
The eyes. Uraraka tried to look at his eyes but his head was lowered. He was looking at the floor, shoulders shaking as he spoke.
“Pros are always risking their lives. That’s what All Might said. And that’s what Deku did.”
“What? W-what do you mean?”
“… he ran at the monster. To save me.”
Deku doesn’t say what he’s going to do, but he doesn’t have to. Todoroki and Kirishima say where they’re going to be waiting. Uraraka’s not sure why. To build suspense, maybe? Because they know damn well what Deku’s going to do. Still, the class leaves as a group, and Deku’s left to mull over his final decision. In reality, Uraraka imagines that he’s coming up with strategies. If Yaoyorozu doesn’t agree to help, they’ll need a Plan B. Deku will come up with one, along with a C, D, and E.
That’s just how he is.
“That… wasn’t on the news…”
“Of course not. A quirkless loser rushing at a monster? That’s stupid.”
“Deku’s not quirkless-”
“That ain’t the point!” He looked up at her, eyes burning as he gritted his teeth. Eyes. She could finally look him in the eye. They were… frustrated? No, that wasn’t it. There was something else, something more to the way he looked now. “The point is he ran headfirst into danger like a fucking idiot!”
Now that she thought about it, Deku had done that with her, too. He’d leapt to great heights to smash his fist into that robot… only to fall toward his death until she slapped him. He jumped into action without a second thought when someone’s life was on the line. In the end, it was enough to get him into the class, but…
… he could’ve died.
“You’re not upset because he’s growing. You’re upset because he’s not ready.”
No response. There didn’t need to be. Because for as long as Katsuki Bakugou could remember, Deku didn’t have a quirk, therefore, he had no reason to dive into dangerous situations. Now that it had manifested, he was out here being all kinds of reckless. Quirks needed time to develop, and for the boy trying to be a hero, he didn’t have any seconds to spare.
Which meant… he was rushing his development.
“There’s gonna be a moment when he leaps in like a moron and gets himself killed.” No beating around the bush, not for Bakugou. His words were blunt, meant to get a sharp point across. Uraraka could feel them cut into her because Deku was quickly become the reigning champion of collecting injuries like trading cards.
Kirishima and Todoroki are set on this. Uraraka can hear the others trying to talk them out of it. Kirishima’s yelling his feelings again and Todoroki is giving cool, collective responses, as if going directly to the end boss’ lair is a completely reasonable idea.
All she can do is think back to this one conversation she had with Bakugou during the sports festival. No one knows about it, of course. No need to ruin their explosion lord’s image.
He’d come to her waiting room shortly after she’d talk to her father, round cheeks stained with tears. He didn’t comment on it, much more considerate than people gave him credit for. “That nerd said you came up with that plan on your own,” he’d said, followed by a gruff, “Good match.”
It should’ve ended there, but she blurted out the question to end all questions regarding Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. “Why do you hate him so much?”
There’s a montage of events running through her mind now, a glorious stream of Deku’s self-destructive behavior. Him willingly letting Bakugou’s fire burn him just so he could win a training exercise. Him trying to save All Might – twice – during the attack on UA. His battle against Todoroki, breaking each finger one flick at a time. The Hero Killer, because deep down she knows they aren’t telling the whole truth, because there’s no way Izuku Midoriya is standing idly by when people are in danger.
The final exams.
Him running back to get Bakugou.
Even if he didn’t need to.
“Why… are you telling me this?”
Bakugou shrugged. “You asked why I hated him.”
It wasn’t just his eyes now. His voice was softer than normal. The word he should’ve been using was so obvious, but what was the point with a hero like Deku? If manufactured hatred didn’t push the boy away, what in the hell would love do?
So Uraraka clasps a hand against her chest, over her heart, and says exactly what Bakugou would cobble together if he had the chance. She’s not sure if it’ll work, but she has to do something. As someone else who’s fallen into that Deku smile, she has to do it, too.
“But… you don’t hate him.”
Bakugou’s back stiffened. He was just about to leave the room but she just had to say it instead of quietly reading between the lines. Maybe it was that tinge of respect, but he spared her a glance and a bitter smile before he stepped out the room, letting the door close behind him.
“Bakugou… would most likely see getting saved by everyone as a disgrace.”
Both Kirishima and Todoroki stare at her, stunned at her words. Kirishima is clenching his fists, trying to hold in the anger he feels, but she can see his skin hardening in reaction to her statement. Todoroki doesn’t look pleased, either, eyes so ice cold that she swears the room gets colder.
But the words aren’t for them.
They’re for Deku.
She doesn’t know if they’ll tell him what she said. All she can do is hope they do, and hope they stop him from forfeiting his life in an attempt to save Bakugou.
It’s what Bakugou would want, anyway.
“Don’t come… Deku.”