Personal things, feel free to move on until my tumblr returns to being wonderfully geeky.

Dear Big Bro,

Already wrote something like this once, but it’s time to do it again.  

16 years ago today I sat in my room, ready to watch the Mortal Kombat animated series.  Please don’t judge my taste in cartoons, I was 13 at the time, and it wasn’t that bad really… alright it was terrible, stop laughing!

Anyway, my phone rang.  It was shaped like Mickey Mouse.  I still have it today, somewhere, in the boxes I’ve yet to unpack in the house.  Yes, I know, I keep a lot of silly things, but it’s a really cute phone o.k.?!  Moving on, the call was from our mom calling my dad, asking to talk to him.  I told my dad to pick up the phone.  Looking back, sometimes I wish I hadn’t done that.  Granted, it wouldn’t have changed anything, but it may have at least prolonged the inevitable.

A couple of minutes later my dad came upstairs to tell me the news.  You were in a car accident.  You were gone.  I still struggle to say the actual “d” word, so I’m going to stick with “gone” if that’s o.k. with you.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 16 years.  I’d like to think that you’re watching all of us, and perhaps doing little things to push me along.  The sudden waves of motivation to write, or the sudden urge to look for a better job, or the need to paint a portal on my geek room wall… oh, that was just me huh?  I guess you weren’t around for Portal, but you would’ve loved it!

Anyway, on your birthday I wrote something like this and gave you an update on stuff.  Now, a month later, here’s another one.  I don’t work at GameStop anymore.  Mom is extremely happy that I’m going after my dream of being a writer. I sort of wrote a short story that transformed into a book on me.  Yeah, about 260 typed pages, or something.  I’m going to try and get it published.  You’ve probably been reading it over my shoulder this entire time, huh, bragging to people about your little sis or whatnot.  Wherever you are, if you’re around other people, bragging isn’t nice!  Be a bit humble when it comes to talking about me, o.k.?  Though you must be thrilled that I’m the same dork I was when you were actually here.

That might explain that sudden urge to watch Rainbow Brite yesterday…

So yeah, my new job is temporary, but it a) pays more and b) is closely related to my major, since it’s proofreading instead of, you know, retail.  My partner and I are working on a joint story together and working to make our online store more popular.  We’re planning more conventions next year (psst, if you can work some sort of big brother afterlife magic and get us a spot at Anime Central next year that would be great) and just crafting and writing and crafting and writing.  Mom is still Mom, although she has the internet now.  I know, it’s SCARY!  She’s on facebook and everything.  

Recently I reconnected with your first son through facebook.  He looks just like you.  Sometimes I forget I’m an aunt, but I am, and he seems to be doing great.  He’s into the music thing.  So yeah, I guess you have a creative son and creative baby sis on your hands.  He wants to come up and see the house, I hope that all works out.  My dad who, let’s face it, is your dad too, is doing great.  The entire family is.  I would tell you about Sweetie (our grandmother) but I know she’s up there with you now, so you already know what happened there.  

So… I think that’s everything.  Today I’m going to get out of the house so I don’t fester on this stuff too much.  I have a partner who insists on that, which is good, or I’d be depressed the entire day.  And I know you don’t want that at all, so I’m ending this letter now.

I love you.  And I miss you lots.  And wherever you are, take care of yourself, o.k.?

With all the love in the world,

Briana 

PS:  Aren’t you proud of me for signing it with my real name instead of Chibi?  It’s too bad you weren’t here when “Chibi” was created, but its essentially me but more fangirly?  Naw, it’s still me  :)