And cut for naughty camping hijinks!  For krisrix (who does FANTASTIC Kanji and Naoto art)

This.

Is. 

Stupid.

Naoto Shirogane stands in the middle of a grassy forest area, wearing a Yasogami High track jacket and looking completely miserable.  A camping trip is absolutely pointless and she has made a list of reasons as to why such a trip is unnecessary for her school career:

1.  She is a detective, and detectives do not have a need to go camping.  

2.  If she were ever interested in camping – which she is not – she certainly wouldn’t use the time to pick up trash, nor would she go with an entire student body.  

3.  Why do they need to cook their own food?  Outside?  Of all places?  Who in the world would cook outside, anyway?  Besides, Aiya delivers anywhere.

4.  Her and the outdoors are not friends, no, not at all.  The outdoors are unpredictable – cold, rainy, hot, dry, take your pick, it’s never reasonable.  

5.  –

“Shirogane, dear, could you stop standing there and help your classmates?”

This is said by Ms. Kashiwagi, who gives her a nasty glare.  Naoto just sighs and walks over, picking up a few pieces of trash to appease the woman.  She knows that her teacher still has a sore spot from that foolish pageant last year – by the way, Naoto is not entering that again.  

5.  Teachers are petty beings who hold grudges for much too-

“Shirogane, there’s more over there, by the river.”

Naoto sighs again, muttering a soft, “Yes sensei,” before she walks over to the river to pick up the pieces of trash there.  

6.  Walking around a river that is surrounded by packs of slippery mud – especially in platforms – is dangerous.  Anyone can slip and fall into the water.  Even detectives, because detectives do not go camping.

***

Naoto is still miserable, more so now than she had been earlier.  She’s sitting in her tent, hat off of her head and resting on top of her still drying track uniform.  She’s got a blanket wrapped around her still trembling form, down to a bra and panties – a damp bra and panties, mind you.  

This.  Is why.  Detectives.  Do not.  Go-

“Yo, Naoto!”

Naoto looks up when Kanji pokes his head into her tent.  She wants to smile at her boyfriend, but instead she just glances away, “… hi.”

“Still drying off?  I heard about what happened.”

“Camping is fundamentally stupid.”

“Oh?”  He steps inside, walking over to sit next to her, “Did you do research before you came to that conclusion?”

“Yes.  It is called sliding into the freezing river while still being fully dressed.”

“Told ya not to wear the platforms.”

Naoto frowns, huddling up under the blanket more, “Yes well, this trip is not going to happen ever again.  I plan on writing a strongly worded letter on the pointlessness of camping.”

“I think you’re lookin’ at it all wrong,” Kanji says, wrapping an arm around Naoto’s shoulders, “There’s some good things about this trip.”

“Oh?  Like what?”

“Like the part where we have sex in a camping tent.”

A year ago, neither one of them would have suggested such a thing.  Actually, a year ago, the color drained from Kanji’s face every time Naoto was in the area.  Now, however, they’ve gotten over the blushing speed bumps.  Now, when one – or both – of them mention intimacy, it’s met with a pleased smirk.

Detectives do not go camping.  Detectives do, however, have sex with attractive boyfriends.

The trick to this, however, is perfecting the art of keeping quiet, especially with big breasted teachers like Kashiwagi wandering about.  Thankfully, they are on the girl’s side.  They both know that their teacher will be sauntering around the boy’s side all night long.  Naoto has never been so happy to be female, even with dealing with Kashiwagi’s petty jealousies.  She’s heard a couple of horror stories from Kanji, something about a “sneak attack” last year and the teacher looking at him like a fresh piece of meat.  

Still, it’s best to be quiet, so they make sure that they’re keeping their lips occupied somehow.  This consists of lots of kissing, flutters of the lips that develop into something deeper, something with tongues and loud moans that are muffled in the passionate moment.  Kanji has his hands on the damp fabric on Naoto’s bra, fingers brushing along the edge of it to tease at the still drying skin.  Too impatient to fiddle with bra straps and the complicated mess known as hooks, Kanji manages to slide the cups up, hands now grabbing onto her full breasts.  

Kissing.  They need to keep kissing.  Naoto tries to tell herself to breathe through her nose but she forgets, breaks the kiss to pant for air, moans sweetly into the camping night.  

Naoto manages to find the drawstring to Kanji’s pants, tugging at it, working to untie it so she can slide his pants off.  She’s a touch bit distracted from Kanji’s sudden fascination with her nipples, his fingers pinching, his tongue swirling around one of them as this sexy little growl slips past his lips.  Her skin is still a bit moist, seeming to enhance the normal flavor of her skin.  He’s gone from licking to kissing, kissing to sucking, Naoto squirming and keeping her bottom lip firmly planted between her teeth.  This creates the sound of small little whimpers, high pitched groans that suddenly make the loose track pants Kanji’s wearing all kinds of uncomfortable.  

Finally, she succeeds in untying the string and Kanji’s squirming out of his pants as he works to get her panties off.  Naoto’s takes a moment to let her eyes travel down and in-between Kanji’s legs.  Something about the way she looks at him always makes him feel a tad bit flustered – even if they’ve done this several times before.  She can’t help herself, she always has to touch him, always has to run her fingers against him before she wraps her hand around his shaft.  Before, Kanji would always lose it.  Before, he would spaz and have an orgasm from the simple touch of her hand like some loser who had never been touched before – truthfully, he hadn’t been until he met her.  He’s got a bit more control now, by “a bit” he means “very little” because he knows that if she moves her hand a few more times he’s going to collapse.  So he gently pulls her hand away, “Shit Naoto, don’t,” and she just chuckles.  She’s fully away of what she does to him and the sadistic little detective enjoys every second of it.

It’s around this time that they hear Kashiwagi sashaying her way past the tent, purring out, “Light’s out, ladies, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do… or do everything that I would do.”

Naoto chuckles quietly to herself, whispering a soft “yes ma'am” as she smirks up at Kanji.  Kanji smirks back and reaches over, putting out the portable light as they both decide to take their overly horny teacher’s advice.

Naoto decides that she can, perhaps, learn to enjoy camping after all.