So my partner and I just had to put our cat down. This is the first time I’ve ever had to do something like this. I mean, I’ve had pets die, but I was never there for it, it was something my dad had to go through then he’d come home to tell me.
So I wanted to write something about the situation. A pet’s short life expectancy isn’t really something I’ve ever thought about, sort of childishly thinking that, you know, she’d live for a very long time with me, or that when it was her time to go I’d be in a place in my life where I’d be able to deal with it (to which is absolutely not true I’d never be ready but you get it)
O.K. No more rambling, here’s the headcanon.
***
It’s Naoto Shirogane’s birthday.
Which, according to Kanji Tatsumi, should be a national holiday.
Thankfully, Kanji understands that Naoto wants a quiet birthday. She’s fine with spending a peaceful evening with a book, maybe going out to Aiya with Kanji afterwards, but she absolutely does not want –
“PARTY!”
And then there’s Teddie.
So it’s Naoto Shirogane’s birthday and she’s sitting at the Junes food court, balloons scattered about in a festive manner, confetti pieces spread over the floor and table tops. Yosuke-senpai is sighing and saying something about clean up, especially since he knows that Teddie will absolutely not help with it. Surprisingly, Kanji is late to this unwanted shindig, saying something about needing to help at the shop. Sorry, I’m sorry he whispers to her, and she’s not quite sure if he’s apologizing for being late, or apologizing for this party.
In the end, it’s not the most terrible experience in Naoto’s life – she already knows what that is thanks to her large, lab coat wearing self that was able to transform into Super Robot-kun. Kanji walks home with her, seeming anxious about something, rubbing the back of his head and shifting nervously from one foot to the next.
Naoto is unsure why he’s so nervous. She realizes the implications of inviting him inside of her apartment but it’s not like they haven’t done this several times before – just last night, actually, “Is something wrong, Kanji?” She’s dropped the kun quite sometime ago and he still gets a touch bit flustered by it.
“N-naw! Ain’t nothin’ wrong! J-j-just open the door!” Crap. Kanji mentally smacks himself in the forehead, especially when Naoto raises an eyebrow at him. "I-I-I mean, wanna celebrate your birthday, in the… y-y-ya know what I mean!“
"So you are just anxious for-”
“Y-yeah! T-t-that’s it, honest!” Damnit did he have to say honest at the end of that? His blubbering probably would’ve passed right through her, too, since he’s still a master of not being able to speak words around her.
Before Naoto can unlock her door they can both hear a faint sound from within her apartment. The sound happens again, and again, and soon Naoto can recognize it as a meow. She turns her attention to Kanji who gives her a sheepish smile.
“Um… happy birthday?”
***
The cat is a mix of colors – browns, blacks, and whites – as if it couldn’t decide what color it wanted to be. It keeps walking through Naoto’s apartment as if it already owns it, jumping up on counters and tables, its tail swishing back and forth.
“I thought she would be good for you,” Kanji says, “Ya know, cuz you’re usually here alone, and well… she’s cute, yeah?”
Naoto is frowning, watching as the supposedly cute cat walks across her kitchen counter, stepping all over the papers of casework she had set there the other day, “Kanji… this is a foolish idea.”
He knew she would say that, but he keeps pushing, “It’ll be fine! Cats make good pets, at least, that’s what senpai said.”
“Senpai would have one hundred and twenty seven kittens if he could.”
This is true, but the point still stands, “I still think-”
“And when would I have time for the cat? Between going to school, and working on cases, and-”
“Cats can practically take care of themselves…”
“They still need some care. Besides, they do not live for very long.”
“Naoto!”
“Fourteen to sixteen years, normally.”
“T-that is still a long time!”
“How old is this cat?”
“I-I… I think they said-”
“You think?”
“She was a rescue, o.k.?”
That gets Naoto interested, “A rescue?”
“Yeah… I figured if you were gonna have any kind of pet, it would be a rescue one.”
This is true, Naoto thinks to herself, “But my point still stands, Kanji.”
Kanji sighs and wonders why he can’t have a normal girlfriend who would squee and hug him over the fact that he bought her a cat. Not that he doesn’t love Naoto Shirogane more than the penguin in the animal crackers, but it feels kind of crappy to listen to her completely dismiss his gift.
Naoto seems to sense this – must be the pathetic look on his face – and she sighs, “… I will try it. For one week.”
“Ya won’t regret it! I promise!"
***
Kanji Tatsumi’s promises are full of lies.
When Naoto is trying to do work the cat – she refuses to name it, because she does not intend to keep it – insists on jumping in her lap. She assumes that the cat wants to be pet, but the creature can’t be content with just one pet, or two, or ten.
When Naoto is trying to sleep the cat jumps into the bed, walks over to her pillow, and curls up around her head. That’s not necessarily terrible. However, the orchestra of purrs that tickle her ears keep her awake until she pushes the cat down to the end of the bed.
Somehow, she always wakes up with the cat by her head again.
By the end of the week she has a case to do and is going to be gone for a couple of weeks. She informs Kanji that this is not a sign of her keeping the cat, that its prolonged stay is a matter of circumstance, not choice.
"So I could just take the cat back now, yeah? Why wait ‘til ya get back?”
“Do not trouble yourself. I will do it when I return.”
Kanji hides the smirk from Naoto when she says that, promising to check up on the cat while she’s away.
***
When Naoto comes back from her case she’s exhausted, ready to drop the detective world off of her shoulders for a moment. Maybe she’ll make a warm drink of some sort, catch up on reading, or-
Meow.
Naoto blinks and looks down, her eyes widening when the cat walks over to her, rubbing itself against her legs and purring. She had forgotten that the cat was here, having become completely loss in a mess of paperwork, suspects, and murders. It is a bit nice to come home to an apartment that’s not empty, she thinks. It is a bit nice to have something waiting for her – Kanji’s on his way, of course, but this is different somehow.
Naoto kneels down and holds her hand out, actually giggling when the cat bumps its head against her open palm, trying to get her to pet her.
And Naoto does.
More than once. More than twice. Even more than ten times. The cat meows happily each time, the purrs loud and making the smile grow on Naoto’s lips. At some point the cat has rolled over onto its back, Naoto actually laughing and petting her stomach. The purring is like a low rumble now, and Naoto has long since forgotten how long she’s been petting the cat.
“I take it ya missed her?”
Apparently, long enough for Kanji Tatsumi to show up at her apartment.
Naoto jumps a bit and quickly stands up, turning to face Kanji. She had forgotten that she had left the door open, and somehow – while she was distracted with Ms. Kitty – she had forgotten that Kanji was on his way over.
“I… was simply attending to her, that is all.”
“Ah.” Kanji closes the door, walking over to Naoto and the cat, “So are ya takin’ her back tomorrow then?”
“Huh?”
“Remember? Ya said that you’d take her back when ya got home.”
Did she? "O-oh, well… I-I mean… it is probably too late, anyway, right?“
"Nope.”
“Oh… well…” she frowns when she sees the look on Kanji’s face, “… at least do not say 'I told ya so.’”
“Naoto…” Kanji smiles, pulling her into his arms, “Of course I’m gonna say it.”
***
Patches the Madame Cat quickly adapts to Naoto’s lifestyle. She learns to not jump into her lap while she’s working unless if Naoto is truly frustrated with something. During those occasions the cat knows to walk over, meow for permission, and Naoto’s frustrated frown shifts into a smile as she taps her fingers on her leg, signalling for her Madame Cat to jump onto her lap.
Patches the Madame Cat also loves Kanji, who checks up on her when Naoto is out doing cases. Of course, the cat sees him more often then that, the tall boy coming over quite often to spend the night. It takes a while to get the cat off of Naoto’s pillow when they’re about to – insert their wildly blushing faces here. Soon, however, she learns to curl up in the corner of the bedroom until the noises stop.
It’s getting to the point that Naoto has pictures of her Madame Cat on her phone. Patches the Madame Cat is her screensaver, and she’s always ready to talk about her when someone notices the picture and comments on her cuteness. And she has all kinds of pictures, from the cat sleeping, to posing in a cute way, she even has a video of her standing up on two legs to try and reach a treat that Kanji keeps just out of reach.
And don’t get her started on her Madame Cat’s mighty hunt for the red dot on the laser pen Naoto has.
But then, one day, Naoto remembers why she had originally thought that this was all a terrible idea.
Having assumed that the shelter had already had Patches the Madame Cat checked out, Naoto hadn’t bothered to schedule an appointment with the vet. Not until very early one morning, after hearing a loud crash and a pitiful meow following after it.
Everything happens much too fast after that. Naoto is out of bed, running into her kitchen where the cat is limping around, favoring her back leg. Kanji is behind her, asking what happened, and Naoto can only deduce that she had fallen off of the counter. It’s odd, she thinks, since her cat has never fallen off of anything before.
She’s at the vet just as the sun begins to rise, holding Patches the Madame Cat close, the cat wrapped in a blanket. Kanji is talking to the woman behind the counter for her, Naoto prefers sitting and petting the cat as they wait for an opening.
Naoto is usually the type to take in information rather well. She’s the type to ask questions – to the point of coming off as annoying, sometimes. But when they’re in one of the available rooms, talking with the vet, all she can do is stand and listen to the doctor’s words. Something about the cat being much older than they had been told, something about a possible blood clot, kidney disease, and other words that neither Naoto or Patches the Madame Cat like to hear. Kanji is holding Naoto’s hand but she really doesn’t notice, her other hand quietly rubbing over the cat’s back.
The cat is left at the vet for part of the day. It takes Kanji a lot of convincing to get Naoto to leave the hospital, insisting that they will call as soon as they know anything. Naoto thinks that they go to Junes but she’s honestly just going through the motions. She thinks that they spend time with the others but everyone’s voices sound hollow and Kanji has to quietly touch her shoulder to get her to respond when the others are talking to her. She assumes that they’re all worried about the cat, probably hoping for the best.
The logical part of Naoto’s mind knows how this is going to end. The cat is old, and she knows that when pets get old there aren’t very many options. She remembers her grandfather having a dog, some old breed that would greet her whenever she visited. One day, when she came to visit, the dog wasn’t there. She didn’t need an explanation, she had already figured out the outcome.
But another part of Naoto’s mind swears that Patches the Madame Cat had been just fine. Sure, she hadn’t been eating as much as usual sometimes, and sure, she had taken to drinking water like it was running on short supply. And sometimes, Patches the Madame Cat wouldn’t jump into bed right away, or when Naoto came home from a case she would be sleeping underneath a chair instead of walking over to greet her.
How stupid, the logical part of her mind thinks, all of the signs were there and she had been too busy showing off cat pictures instead of –
Her phone rings, breaking her away from her thoughts.
Kanji watches, a sad frown on his face, as Naoto gets a horrified look on her face. He doesn’t need to know what the doctor is saying to know that it’s bad. When Naoto speaks, “We’ll be right over,” her voice is tight, and she doesn’t bother to tell the others what was said over the phone. It’s Yosuke-senpai who decides that they should all go, and minutes later there’s a large group of friends sitting in the waiting room.
Naoto is given two options, neither of them ideal. She can either have Patches the Madame Cat put down now, or she can take her home for about a day or two. She’s given some time to decide, now sitting in a room with a very tired looking cat in her lap. Kanji is sitting next to her, the others waiting outside. Naoto hadn’t even bothered to insist that Kanji didn’t need to go in with her, too focused on her Madame Cat to keep up apperances.
“This is why I said no,” she whispers, not able to take her eyes off the cat, “I knew this would happen.”
“Naoto…”
“I should have taken her back.”
“That ain’t true and you know it.”
“If I had taken her back, I would not have to make this decision. I would not be this torn up about it.”
“Naoto, there’s gonna be stuff that happens that tears ya up inside. The point is to enjoy it, not to worry about what happens in the end.”
Naoto keeps petting the cat, her hand shaking more and more each time, “This is awful,” she whispers, and she can feel Kanji wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“I know,” he whispers back.“
She doesn’t realize that she’s crying, not until Patches the Madame Cat slowly pushes herself up, meows up at Naoto, and manages to stand up on two legs to bump her face against her cheek.
As always – even now, of all times – Patches the Madame Cat knows exactly what Naoto needs.
***
Notes: so this is mostly based on my cat, Loki, except we actually had her for many years instead of the short amount of time Naoto had her cat. And there was no denial on our part about Loki, we knew immediately that we wanted her… it’s just that Naoto is stubborn ^^;;;