Something I wish I was better at:

I wish I was better at not falling into a deep depression when things don’t go my way.  Like, when I get a rejection letter, I just stop, I just sit there, I suddenly think it’s all over, that this whole writing dream was a waste after all, that it won’t get anywhere.  I’m learning, though.  I’ve actually learned to just roll with the depression, give myself a day to feel sad and pathetic, and my partner will go out and get me chicken nuggets, sometimes we’ll go out for a drive, just… do goofy things to cheer me up so when I wake up the next day I’m ready to try again.

I wish I was better at selling myself.  That’s really hard.  Sending in those query letters, trying to sell myself and my story, make it worth it for someone to pick up.  The words need to speak for themselves, yes, but I wish I was better at spinning them together sometimes, and putting together an awesome letter that says, “Hey, I’m worth your time, give me a chance.  I know I’m new at this, but I will take you into this world that you will never forget.”  

I wish I was better at realizing the things I have accomplished so far, but I usually focus on the now which is: jobless, unpublished, sad faced.  But, you know, I need to be better at realizing that my partner and I are doing just fine.  She’s been working OT, I’ve been keeping our shop up, things have been selling well, I’ve been getting us tables at conventions (most recently ACEN which is phenomenal and a great opportunity).  And I’m not nearly as miserable as I was at GameStop, that’s worth everything to me, and I have potential jobs coming in.  But there’s this feeling of failure, and I wish I could see that as bad as it feels, things will work out, I’m in a better place now, and I just need to keep going.