So a new chapter of my all time favorite Kanji and Naoto fic was posted.  I’ve rambled about it a million times but here’s the fic just in case you haven’t read it (YOU SHOULD!)

Anyhow, here we go!  Cut because of spoilers.

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So Chapter 42 (or Interlude 12) switches things to Naoto’s POV.  I really like the sections that focus on her, but this one is a particular favorite.  In case you forgot, Naoto ran away from her feelings for Kanji went off to do a case.  I have to say I really love the relationship between her and her grandfather.  I suppose, canonly, there isn’t too much information on the kind of relationship they have, but this fic kind of establishes what I see it as.  Naoto’s got this idea of being the perfect detective, her grandfather doesn’t mind… but he also wants her to, you know, have a life.  He knows that she’s left behind a lot of good things in Inaba and wants her to go back to it, but he isn’t going to force her, he’s going to let her realize it for herself.

There’s a particular line that’s kind of sad to me, something like, he gets up and looks like he’s about to hug her but he doesn’t, because she told him years ago that such actions aren’t necessary.  It gives me this idea that yes, deep down, she’s lonely (her shadow proves that), but at the same time… it’s partially her fault.  I’m not saying it’s intentional, no not at all.  I fully believe that she’s had a rough time trying to be seen as a competent person in the detective world, but at the same time, she’s got so many walls up that she ends up pushing away the genuine things that are right in front of her.  Her grandfather sees something about her time in Inaba and doesn’t want her to push that away.  

There’s also an interesting section about her relationship with Souji.  I don’t mind Souji/Naoto as a pairing, but my OTP is definitely Kanji/Naoto.  This fic, however, explains their relationship in a great way.  There’s a part where she’s thinking that she would’ve liked to be with him, would’ve liked to love him, but she knows that she doesn’t (Souji, I mean).  This is because it’s Souji, he’s well, perfect, but on top of that he’s safe.  He would be the safe choice for her, the choice that would be “more fitting” and not as dangerous.  Choosing Kanji could be a complete disaster, you know?  And I like the explanation of it being because, you know, there’s so many feelings between them, what if things get screwed up?  What if she messes up?  What if it doesn’t work?  It’s unpredictable and scary.

In fact, that’s how she feels about the entire time.

Something I always noticed with the game (and wish could’ve been incorporated, somehow) is that Naoto is the last to join.  She joins when the group already has a bond with one another and I couldn’t help but notice that besides the beauty pageant, there’s like, no fun moments with her.  Nanako gets thrown in, you think she dies, you fight Adachi, and just… whatever time she would’ve had to gel with the others got tossed out the window because they were so busy from November - December.  So I would think that she would feel like an outsider, most definitely, and add that with her insecurities in the first place and… yeah.

She goes back to Inaba, and there’s this sort of beautifully heartwretching moment.  Kanji doesn’t meet her at the station, and he even says that he isn’t sure he would’ve gone.  He tells her that he can’t chase after her anymore, she has to decide.  The thing that seems to always happen in the Kanji/Naoto fandom is that he chases her, which is fine, but at some point a person gets tired of chasing something that isn’t responding (especially since this fic addresses an interesting concept of she was aware that he had feelings for her, or at least knew something was going on – whether she was consciously aware of the realization or not – and she just sort of did nothing about it.  I really believe this with some of the things she can say to him or do in Golden, like sharing an umbrella and all that).  So Kanji tells her she needs to make a decision.

And she does.  

And it’s good.

And it’s like, “Oh finally, yay!”

But at the same time I wonder what’s going to happen next, and I fear for the Izanami battle (assuming that’s part of the story).  She’s admitting to being in love with him, and we all know what happens in March.  Just… o.k., no thinking about the future, time to relish in the fact that they’re together now, yay!