brichibiwritesthings:

So as I go through the process of filling out the Author Form to my book (which is a deceptively short form but, in reality, it’s a lot of work!) I’m stuck on which excerpt I should use.  This excerpt will be on the inside cover of the book.  The ones I’m posting are the two I’m trying to choose from.  I’d like to keep “The Invitation” before both of them.

The first excerpt happens relatively early in the story, while the second happens later.  It’s job is to get the reader interested, hence why I’m coming to you all  :)  you’re my test subjects, there will be cake at the end of this test.

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1.  Invitation

Anyone from pauper to peasant can purchase a dog or a cat.  Why should you lower yourself to such a standard?  I would like to invite you to browse through animals for your more refined taste.  This invitation is for those who are interested in one of a kind animals who will speak to the prestigious title they have built for themselves.  These animals break away from those pale and boring common breeds with their rare, exotic beauty.  These animals will allow you to enjoy something that’s truly magnificent.  Treat yourself and come find an animal that truly matches the life of luxury that you live.

“You…y-you…” He doesn’t want to say it because it’s too ridiculous to say.  His life isn’t some low budget sci-fi movie — or would this be fantasy?  Whatever it may be it certainly isn’t, this is real life and birds do not-…no, no no no not going there.  Matthew quickly squashes that train of thought.  He begins to look around the room.  Where did that bird go?  It has to be somewhere!  Maybe sleeping behind the water heater?  Maybe nesting in his pile of dirty clothes?  He slides out of the bed, frantically looking around the basement.  

This can’t be happening.  This cannot be happening!

The woman sits up and continues to quietly watch him before she finally speaks, her voice soft and soothing, “Master?  What exactly are you looking for?”

Matthew stops digging through the laundry, holding a pair of socks in his hands.  Did the woman just call him… “Master?”

“Why yes.  That is what you are.  I belong to you.”

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2.   Invitation

Anyone from pauper to peasant can purchase a dog or a cat.  Why should you lower yourself to such a standard?  I would like to invite you to browse through animals for your more refined taste.  This invitation is for those who are interested in one of a kind animals who will speak to the prestigious title they have built for themselves.  These animals break away from those pale and boring common breeds with their rare, exotic beauty.  These animals will allow you to enjoy something that’s truly magnificent.  Treat yourself and come find an animal that truly matches the life of luxury that you live.

“What… the hell…”

No one says anything to Alex, letting him watch as the wings start to slip into Zahra’s back.  Her skin literally tears apart, ripping itself like sharp knives cutting into flesh.  There’s no blood when Alex really thinks there needs to be.  The woman isn’t screaming when she should be crying out in pain.  Zahra simply stands perfectly still, arms crossed over her breasts as her wings fold in on themselves, trying to become comfortable between shoulder blades and back bones.  The open inside of her back is a mess from the blue of her wings and hints of bone, like she’s been dissected and left on the table.

He says it again, “What…the…” but in seconds Zahra’s body starts to shift again.  Her broken skin starts to stitch itself together, filling in the gaps until her back is whole again.  It sticks out a little, as if it can’t quite contain the wings but it doesn’t bother Zahra at all.  

“It’s like a cocoon,” Sandi whispers, sounding completely fascinated with the entire event.  She walks over, gently touching the woman’s back.  Bumpy, and she can feel the wings constantly moving and shifting underneath Zahra’s skin, “This is amazing.”

“This is weird as fuck!”  Alex screams, “What was that just now?!”

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So which one do you prefer? Damnit tumblr how dare you not let me ask questions right now ARGH! Just leave an answer in my box or something if you want to answer ^^;;;

Help!  I need… things… help!  Pick one?