Spoilers to “Cabin in the Woods” as I blend it with… Attack on Titan?

100 years ago, there was an incident in a cabin that rested in the middle of the woods.  Five friends went for a weekend of fun, but their weekend became overrun with fear and terror.  Only two friends survived, and they discovered a far more sinister plot that lied below the cabin.

Underneath the earth rested “The Ancient Ones.”  A group of a select number of specialist worked to appease these gods.  Sacrifices were made all around the world, but in the end it was for the greater good of humanity.  However, the two surviving teenagers of the cabin incident saw things another way.  Instead of killing each other, they decided that the world needed to start anew, and they watched as the Ancient Ones rose.

Since their attack, not much of humanity remains.  The last surviving humans have built walls to protect themselves.  The term “Ancient Ones” has been replaced with something far worse.

Titans.

These Titans trample on humanity, not caring about who or what lies in their way.  However, thanks to these walls, humans have had peace for 100 years since the incident at the cabin.

But then, one day, Eren Yeager’s life takes a turn for the worst when the Titans return.  Him and his friends, Armin and Mikasa, have trained for three years to do what the two teens of the past couldn’t do: save humanity and defeat the Titans.  Ancient or not, these gods will fall before humans.

*insert Attack on Titan opening theme here*

Yes I just linked together “Cabin in the Woods” and “Attack on Titan.”  I’m sorry (sort of?)  However, if Joss Whedon would like to direct a U.S. live action version on Attack on Titan…