Something I will never understand is this mindset to “stop whining.”  Like, if someone is making fun of you, aren’t you supposed to stand up for yourself? With the cosplay article and stuff I’ve been told a few times (very few) to “stop whining” because that just fuels the haters more.  Why is the expectation to just sit quietly, take in the nasty comments, and not say or do anything?  

Granted, I didn’t say anything directly to the person who hated on me, but I did, at least, do something.  There’s some people who just aren’t worth the effort because they’re literally just there to make you feel bad.  But I could at least, you know, respond in my own way.  I wrote an article and I fried some chicken.  I said some stuff to show that, you know, this kind of thing happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there and being you.  How is that “whining” at all?  I’ve been told to “own up to my fat” and like, I never once said that I didn’t?  I know what I am, and I flat out said that.    

Also, telling someone not to complain and whine isn’t helpful.  Everyone reacts differently to things.  Such nasty comments don’t bother me because I already have been called a bunch of names growing up, but there’s people who aren’t like me.  There’s people who are affected by words, and you telling them to “stop whining” isn’t going to solve anything.  They’re not going to magically be like, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m fat I should be proud.”  I wasn’t like that before.  It’s not like I was magically some woman who fried chicken in the face of my haters, no.  It takes time to gain confidence, and there’s nothing wrong with it taking time.  It’s not o.k. to look down on a plus sized person who gets upset about being called names.  How is that going to help them?  “Just shut up and laugh it off,” how is that encouraging at all?  That’s just going to make someone feel worse, because not only are they suddenly “a fat whale” according to some asshole, but according to you they cry too much. According to you they’re just looking for sympathy and need to suck it up and move on.  But, not everyone can move on, and you’re not going to help by trying to shove them forward.    

You don’t fix a negative with a negative.

Should you be ashamed of who you are?  No, of course not, you should love yourself.  But the way you get someone to feel that love is by encouragement, and frankly, being called a cry baby isn’t encouraging.  That article wasn’t looking for sympathy, at no point was I like, “I got made fun of whoa is me,” it was flat out, “Hey I got made fun of, it happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love.  There are a lot of people out there who will love what you do, so go out there and be you.”  I mean for fuck’s sake, I fried chicken over it.  I don’t need sympathy, and I’m not whining.  I’m speaking my mind and telling others to not be afraid to cosplay because some asshole wants to call them names.  But, at the same time, if it takes someone a minute to be at the level of confidence you want them to be at, then please, give them a minute.  Eventually, they’ll be able to “laugh it off” and enjoy how wonderful they are, but if they can’t do that right this second, that’s fine too.