LET’S TALK ABOUT BODY IMAGE. Again. Sorry, guys.
I woke up to a loooot of anon asks (and a few very sweet logged in ones!) about my Jessica, some good, some bad, but two in particular stood out and were kindly worded!
First of all, apologies for appearing to speak for everyone! That post was a series of personal anecdotes about my own experiences. It was never meant to be a manifesto for plus-size cosplayers!
I am over 200lbs, I am considered more than a little overweight for my height (5’11”) medically speaking, but it’s very true that my weight distributes itself in a way that’s seen as ‘socially acceptable’ fat by the tumblr fat-positivity wagon at large. For every derisive comment I’ve gotten about my weight, I’ve gotten plenty “hot fat girl” comments and people (usually men) expressing surprise at “how fat I really am”. People who come up to me in Jessica from the front and then see me from the side and get alarmed that I’m secretly thick, like I deceived them.
I guess the thing is, I don’t see those comments as positive. Alarm that an overweight girl could POSSIBLY BE PRETTY just sucks, but it’s also the concept of me ‘fooling’ them. Like I’m masquerading as skinny to trick them into finding me attractive. That is NOT why I wear a corset under my Jessica cosplay.
I love my tits, I love my ass, and I love how cute I can make myself look with no body shapers involved once I started embracing my body and stop trying to hide it. Jessica Rabbit is a cartoon, I wear a corset because that sort of cartoonish figure is not something I can achieve without some steel boning, but I don’t wear a corset to hide myself. There’s a cosplay me, and a real me, and the cosplay me has definitely helped me rediscover that I can, in fact, love my body — but when I say that, I don’t mean ‘my body in a corset’, I mean MY body.
Sometimes it takes putting on a mask or some crazy makeup or, yes, a corset, to find yourself physically. That’s what it took for me. For you, or anyone else, it might be a very different road. Just remember that it’s one we’re all walking on together.
I feel like there’s so many levels to what “plus” or “overweight” is, and everyone has a different definition of it. Like I look at this girl (even without the Jessica Rabbit) and think, “how is she fat?” But that’s because I’m comparing her to my own size. But the same goes for me compared to my partner, and even my own mother. To me I think, “How can people see you as being overweight?” But it happens, you know? We were just at the doctor yesterday and my partner got the “you need to lose some weight” speech. But she’s smaller than me so my immediate thought is, “How?” Then I realize that according to her height and all these other factors, yes, she’s overweight.
When we think of thinks like “plus sized” and “overweight” I think we think of our own size, so when someone is smaller than us we think, “Wait hold up, you’re not plus sized.” Like my partner? She can find her bras at a department store versus me who can barely find it at Lane Bryant, and that’s IF they have the highest size possible at that location. Again, same with my mom. She shops at Lane Bryant and I think, “But wait you’re not plus sized, are you?” But she’s big in certain areas so, yeah, she is.
You also can’t really speak for someone else’s experience. Just because someone is smaller than you in weight doesn’t mean people haven’t called them names. That’s one of the big things I learned when I wrote my article about plus sized cosplay. People came to me and shared their stories, and I would think, “But wait what are you like a 14? 16? Is that really plus?” But yeah, they had been picked on, called names, and everything. I even remember some girl told me that she was LOSING weight and getting crap because she wasn’t losing it fast enough according to the people around her.
I also feel for that whole idea of you somehow deceiving someone because they don’t see your size? Like I remember being told I was “cute in the face,” like my cute face was deceiving them because I’m fat? Like, “how dare you be a cutie when your stomach is large,” what does that even mean? My face is attached to my body I’m not hiding the fact that I’m fat, kinda hard to do that. I’d hate to disappoint you but fat people aren’t always those people you see on the diet commercials who don’t wear cute clothes and do their hair until the power of Jenny Craig compels them.