I swear everything I do is going to equal fat to some people. 

Have a college degree in English and Women’s Studies? That’s glorifying obesity.

Get an award from my Women’s Studies Department? That’s glorifying obesity.

Get a book published? That’s glorifying obesity. 

Get another book published? Double the fat.

A third? Triple cheeseburger!

Two short stories? Super-size me.

Edit books? With a side of fries!

Snuggle with my cats? That’s glorifying obesity. 

Plan my wedding? Obesity. 

Cosplay? Obesity. 

Woodburn? OBESITY!

All these things are bringing me closer to death because everything I do is glorifying obesity and obesity kills and people are just concerned for my well being so obesity obesity OBESITY! No matter what I do there’s always going to be those people who only see the chunkiness of my size instead of my accomplishments, which is why I always say do the things that make you happy, don’t worry about these people. You could invent a way to breathe in space without a helmet and be a godsend to NASA, but these people will still tell you that you’re showing fat people how to be lazy because now they don’t have to put any effort into lifting their arms up to put on the helmet. 

Just keep doing you, o.k.?