Something I will never understand is this mindset to “stop whining.”  Like, if someone is making fun of you, aren’t you supposed to stand up for yourself? With the cosplay article and stuff I’ve been told a few times (very few) to “stop whining” because that just fuels the haters more.  Why is the expectation to just sit quietly, take in the nasty comments, and not say or do anything?  

Granted, I didn’t say anything directly to the person who hated on me, but I did, at least, do something.  There’s some people who just aren’t worth the effort because they’re literally just there to make you feel bad.  But I could at least, you know, respond in my own way.  I wrote an article and I fried some chicken.  I said some stuff to show that, you know, this kind of thing happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there and being you.  How is that “whining” at all?  I’ve been told to “own up to my fat” and like, I never once said that I didn’t?  I know what I am, and I flat out said that.    

Also, telling someone not to complain and whine isn’t helpful.  Everyone reacts differently to things.  Such nasty comments don’t bother me because I already have been called a bunch of names growing up, but there’s people who aren’t like me.  There’s people who are affected by words, and you telling them to “stop whining” isn’t going to solve anything.  They’re not going to magically be like, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m fat I should be proud.”  I wasn’t like that before.  It’s not like I was magically some woman who fried chicken in the face of my haters, no.  It takes time to gain confidence, and there’s nothing wrong with it taking time.  It’s not o.k. to look down on a plus sized person who gets upset about being called names.  How is that going to help them?  “Just shut up and laugh it off,” how is that encouraging at all?  That’s just going to make someone feel worse, because not only are they suddenly “a fat whale” according to some asshole, but according to you they cry too much. According to you they’re just looking for sympathy and need to suck it up and move on.  But, not everyone can move on, and you’re not going to help by trying to shove them forward.    

You don’t fix a negative with a negative.

Should you be ashamed of who you are?  No, of course not, you should love yourself.  But the way you get someone to feel that love is by encouragement, and frankly, being called a cry baby isn’t encouraging.  That article wasn’t looking for sympathy, at no point was I like, “I got made fun of whoa is me,” it was flat out, “Hey I got made fun of, it happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love.  There are a lot of people out there who will love what you do, so go out there and be you.”  I mean for fuck’s sake, I fried chicken over it.  I don’t need sympathy, and I’m not whining.  I’m speaking my mind and telling others to not be afraid to cosplay because some asshole wants to call them names.  But, at the same time, if it takes someone a minute to be at the level of confidence you want them to be at, then please, give them a minute.  Eventually, they’ll be able to “laugh it off” and enjoy how wonderful they are, but if they can’t do that right this second, that’s fine too.

All.  Of.  This.  Especially the 2nd one, the 3rd one, the 5th one, and the 6th one.  This is because:

a) I guess black girls don’t look lesbian enough, unless if they’re super butch?  Oh we also don’t look like geeks either.  Even though I worked at GameStop and wore fucking companion cubes in my ears

b)  I’ve never been intimate with a guy.  I’ve messed around with them and had a boyfriend in high school, but we never went all the way.  So then I got the question, “How do you know?  You haven’t been with a guy.”

c) I double majored in English and Women’s Studies.  That’s Women’s Studies part triggered some red flags.  Clearly, Women’s Studies would make me hate all men.

d)  It’s just a phase.

Here’s the truth:

a)  NOT ALL LESBIANS WILL HAVE SHORT HAIR AND WEAR FLANNEL!  NOT ALL LESBIANS WILL DRESS IN WHAT YOU CONSIDER TO BE MASCULINE CLOTHING!  Some do, yes, but not all of them.  There is no “lesbian” look.  In the same breath, NOT ALL GAY MEN WILL BE FLAMBOYANT!  Some will, yes, but not all!  Here’s a secret: most gay/lesbian people?  Look.  Like.  Everyone.  Else.  GASP!  I KNOW, RIGHT?!  This go for geeks.  NOT ALL GEEKS ARE GOING TO LIVE IN THEIR MOTHER’S BASEMENT, BE OVERWEIGHT, BE AWKWARD, and all that’s in between.  Some are, yes, but not all. (my upcoming short story for Dreamspinner actually touches on this, as it has a black, attractive geek, and the lead character is surprised by it).

b)  JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN ISN’T WITH A MAN DOESN’T MEAN SHE NEEDS TO BE WITH ONE TO FIGURE OUT IF SHE’S A LESBIAN!  Guess what?  Sometimes, women just know that they’re attracted to other women. Or, in my case, they fall in love with another woman.  Same with men.  WHY DOESN’T ANYONE ASK STRAIGHT WOMEN, “Dur you’ve never been with a woman how do you know you’re not a lesbian?”  Because they just know, right?  Well, so do we.

c)  WOMEN’S STUDIES DOES NOT MAKE YOU HATE MEN!  It makes you want everyone to be equal, it makes you want everyone to have a voice, regardless of gender, sexual preference, race, and all that’s in between.  It makes you aware of the issues in our society that you might not have been aware of unless you were a victim of them.  Or, in my case, you know about the racial issues because you’re black, but you never think about the gender issues because NO ONE addressed them to me.  Sure, I got the, “Dur girls don’t play video games,” but that’s about it, honestly.  Now, black issues?  Yeah that’s been talked about since high school.  I knew about the struggles of my race, but not about my gender.  I also knew such things because of my family talking to me.  The ONLY women talk was that, “Let’s separate the boys and girls and talk about menstruation ”  

And you know what?  Women’s Studies went beyond just women’s issues.  It was more “cultural/social issues” and not just “women.”  In a way, Women’s Studies made me appreciate men more.  It made me appreciate the good men I had in my life.  I have an awesome, AWESOME dad, who took great care of me.  And it wasn’t for some tragic “something happened to my mom” reason.  Women’s Studies made me see that, you know, we talk a lot about the terrible men, but never seem to appreciate the good.  Or, if they are good, we assume there’s a reason behind it, or it’s a lie.  I would talk about how I grew up with my dad and some people would assume he was FORCED into it, like, “Something happened to your mom, right?”  No, actually.  Instead of having my mom struggle to raise me in her apartment in Chicago, I moved in with my dad who was getting remarried and getting a house.  That man would take me to see my mom every weekend since I was 9 years old.  He would go pick her up to go see my school functions if she couldn’t get a ride to them since she didn’t drive.  And my parents always, always told their new significant others that I came first.  That if they couldn’t understand that my father was taking me to see my mother and seeing her on a weekly basis, too bad.  Hell, my dad took care of my older brother, and he wasn’t even his son.  But you know what?  In my brother’s obituary my dad is named his father.  His father ran off on my mom shortly after he was born.  She was 16.  When my dad met my mom, he helped with my brother, so much so that I thought we had the same dad until I was 10.

SO I DON’T HATE MEN!  How can I when I had such a great influence in my dad?  And my brother?  There is no hatred here, so STOP THINKING THAT!  

d)  FUCK YOU IT’S BEEN 11 YEARS IT’S NOT A GODDAMN PHASE!  

Because I was trying to write a headcanon thing but I can’t keep this frustration inside.  It’s not really tumblr that I see these postings at, but on facebook, and I really don’t feel like posting this on facebook and getting into a possible debate that might end friendships… not yet at least.

In regards to yesterday’s events, here are the postings that are irritating to see, because I hate when people make tragedies into some sort of agenda, like, “Oh it’s time to bash video games again,” or, “where’s your gun control now,” or, “this is what happens when God isn’t in school.”

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As I write this new work for nanowrimo, I realize to myself how powerful writing really is.  Not only do you create this story, you create characters, locations, plots, and just… you’re creating something with your imagination, you’re breathing life into things and wanting people to experience the same feelings you feel as you create.  Is your character nice?  Mean?  Tall?  Short?  Happy?  Sad?  You get to decide, you have control over this.

I realized this a while ago when working on my first story, and the joint story with my partner, but as I work on this new story for the first time I think writing has made me… uncomfortable.  I’m creating this character who is, for lack of better words, an asshole.  There’s things he says and things he does that make him un-redeemable in any way.  Now I’ve watched things with asshole characters, played video games against them, even role-played them but… actually making one from my own thoughts?  It’s shown me that writing can – and does – make you step out of your comfort zone, which is terribly hard to do. 

I actually had to stop writing the scene he was in for a moment.

So yeah, writing is powerful, that is all  :)

(I have no idea why I keep posting this stuff  ^^;;;)

Something I like to do is not reference current things will referencing them at the same time. 

That… probably makes no sense.

What I mean is that instead of flat out calling something a name, I describe it so you get the sense of what it is.  For example:

1.  He drank a Red Bull.

2.  He cracked open an energy drink whispered an unrealistic promise of giving him wings.

I don’t know how I started doing this, I think it’s because I don’t want to date my stories?  When you read something and it actually states something, you know what time period it is and later, down the line, it might make the story feel old.  This works, of course, if you WANT your story to feel old, like mentioning something that’s obviously 80s.  But when you’re writing something that’s taking place today, and you name it, for some reason I always think, “This is going to sound super old fifty years from now, because everything is going to be new.”

So like, instead of “Nintendo Wii” I say something like, “Interactive game system that lets you bowl in your house.”

And… that’s my random writing ramblings for the day  ^^  I have NO IDEA where that even came from  ^^;;;

Gonna be up for a long while woodburning and things like that.  17 coasters done so far, only… um… a lot more to go.  So, randomly, you can harass me if you want because I’m awake, or ask me things, or something I dunno?

Things accomplished tonight:  Togepi wineglass, TMNT Michelangelo shotglass, random writing things for stuff I want to submit to places soon, discussion of new item to make for the shop

Things not accomplished:  sleep

… oh well, can’t win em’ all  ^^

Sometimes, when I get excited for a game oftentimes my partner and I ramble about it or rather she lets me ramble and she joins in.  Since we’re both excited for Persona 4 Arena, the ramblings have increased, and when it’s that special time of night when we’re that special kind of tired where everything his hilarious, this happens:

Me:  Wouldn’t it be funny if the game had DLC?  Like costume packs?

Partner:  I had mentioned that before, remember?  Like you get the beauty pageant outfits to fight in, but if you’re playing as Naoto you forfeit the match.

Me:  No no, I remember that conversation.  But what if…

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Mostly about my thoughts/predictions on the final episode of the anime (the true ending, not episode 25) because they keep swarming in my head and my partner certainly isn’t helping by always being willing to discuss and add to my thoughts.  So here we go.  SPOILERS LIKE WHOA for game and anime, and lots of fangirling  ^^

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