Gotta go save the Mushroom Kingdom, but first, lemme put on my bow.
I’ve been with this woman for 13 years and I’m looking forward to 13 more, and more, and more until we reach forever. She’s my co-author, my seamstress, my partner, my everything.
Pictures taken by our friend Lavonne Brite, who’s getting into photography and wanted to do some couple shots of us, from us being in normal clothes to showing what we normally do together, which is this lady making my cosplay and making me feel amazing :) You can also find my cosplay page here and my wifey’s here. We have many new things planned this year and are excited to continue to bring our ideas to life.
There’s two things I want to address that always come up when things like “Blackout” or “28DaysOfBlackCosplay” happen.
1. Why is this necessary?
For the “why” I’ve included a pic of me in what my partner and I called “the hate shirt.” This shirt shows just a few things that have been said to me in regards of cosplay. As you can see, they range from bashing my weight, to disqualifying my race in that “stop acting white” comment. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means that I don’t “act black” because I don’t follow the stereotypes that are often seen. I like anime, I like video games, I’m a geek, I speak in complete sentences, so somehow this isn’t “black” to some people. Black, to some people, is ugly, and lacks intelligence, and people don’t realize that such characteristics isn’t exclusive to one race. Anyone can have an ugly soul. And anyone, most certainly, can be beautiful.
For the most part, I’ve found that people do want equality for us all, but some feel that its not necessary to have movements that revolve around the group we’re working to have equality for. "Equality" does mean that all of us should be seen as equal, but the problem is that not everyone sees us as such, and until then, movements like “Blackout” and “28DaysOfBlackCosplay” are necessary. There’s two parts of it, to me. We not only have to make sure everyone is on board, but we have to make sure the group we’re fighting for feels like they’re worth it, and the sad truth is… not all black people feel like they are, because of the hate. That’s what movements like this are for: to show them that they are beautiful.
Here’s a quote from an article I wrote for Twin Cities Geek:
If someone tells me that I’m not worthy of something enough times, I’ll start to believe it. I have believed it. I’ve believed that I wasn’t worth it because of my race. I’ve believed that I was ugly. I’ve been told to “stop acting white” because I like anime, video games, and cosplay. And I know a lot of others have felt the same way because of the color of their skin. Those people need to be shown that they are beautiful, that they’re worth it, that they’re equal. It’s great to think we all should be equal but there are plenty of black people out there who think that they shouldn’t be because of the crap that gets flung at them; who think that they CAN’T be. Equality is great, but you have to WANT it, and if you feel like you’re beneath everyone around you, you’re going to think you don’t deserve it.
2. How do you stay so confident?
The truth about confidence is that it’s not a constant. It’s not one of those things that, once you have it, it’ll be there forever. You will have bad days. I’m 31 years old and I am a confident person, but that doesn’t mean I’m confident all the time. I do have bad days. I do falter. I do have moments where I wonder if I’m wrong, somehow, whether its looks, or the things I’m into. Sometimes I get comments like the ones on the shirt I’m wearing and they hurt, real bad, and I wonder if I should just listen to the hate and stop what I’m doing. And you know what? It’s o.k. to get upset. It’s o.k. to be hurt. I get hurt, I get sad, I curl up under a blanket and don’t want to come out.
The trick is to not STAY like this.
When I do have faltering moments, I take time out to breathe and remember the positives, and the positives are there. I have an amazing partner who loves me and supports me. I have friends. I have family. I have fans. I have people who have come up to me at conventions to say that I was the reason they came. I have people who message me such wonderful, positive things. These are the things you should focus on. Surround yourself with support. If its not in your “real” life, find it online, because it’s there. There’s groups who support our differences, and promote them, and are there for you if someone is giving you a hard time. You’re not alone in this.
Move at your own pace. Don’t look at the person next to you and think you’re doing something wrong if they’re further than you. It’s o.k. if you’re not there yet. It’s taken me years to have the confidence to wear that shirt I’m wearing and say, “You said this shit about me, so what? I’m still here.” It’s taken a long time, and even if I am confident, like I said, some days I’m not. Some days, that shirt cripples me. Some days, I feel ugly, useless, and not worth anyone’s time. And that’s fine. Your feelings are your own and there’s nothing wrong with them. The way confidence works is that, when you do get in that head space, you’re able to take a breath, close your eyes, and slowly dispel the negativity. Then, when you look at it you realize… there’s no reason to let it hold you back.
It can make you stumble, it can even make you fall, but you have the power to get back up and keep going.
Growing up, I was one of the weird kids. On top of loving video games, I loved anime, and back then that wasn’t “normal” for a black girl to be into. I was told that I wasn’t “a normal black girl,” to “stop acting white,” and was pretty much told that I wasn’t portraying my race accurately. I was also told that I “wasn’t a real girl” because I played video games. Add the fact that I was overweight and I was just this ball of oddness to people.
I did have friends, friends who I still love dearly today, but they weren’t into this whole anime/video game thing. Still, we were close like sisters, but I didn’t have too many people who could quote “Dragonball Z.” But at the age of 18, when I stepped into that convention hotel, I was suddenly surrounded by like minded people. It wasn’t just one or two people, but hundreds of them, and I suddenly didn’t feel like “the weird black girl.”
My interview with “Twin Cities Geek” celebrating #28DaysOfBlackCosplay.
Thanks so much to everyone who celebrated #28DaysOfBlackCosplay and thanks for letting me be a part of it. This movement has really shown that cosplay is something that all of us can take part in, and more importantly, it showed that there are many of us out there to support one another. To everyone who has ever been told that they’re “wrong” because of how they look or what they’re into, it’s o.k. to be different, and you’re not alone. The month may be ending, but the love and support is going to continue for the rest of the year and years to come.
2014 © A. Stevens
https://www.facebook.com/andrew.stevens.photo
Cammy White Cosplay Masterpost
Finally getting around to the edits from A.Stevens - the delay is totally, TOTALLY my fault with real life and all. Dude, I can’t tell you how many squats and push-ups went into the prep for this cosplay. And I was so proud of the final results. I worked damn hard on this, and I’m glad it shows. I definitely need to get back into shape. I’d love for this build to be my “default.”
Yeeeeeeeeees <3 I am here for this. This is amazing!
Underneath the Wonder Woman dress is… another dress?! Tis true~
Filed under reasons why I love my wifey and her ingenious ideas <3
There’s this idea that there’s a certain way to be black, and growing up as a geek, I was, somehow, being black in the wrong way. Black girls didn’t watch anime. Black girls didn’t play video games. I was told to “stop acting white,” and this wasn’t just in high school, this continued into my adult life, too.
There’s this idea that there’s a certain way to be black, but with cosplay and the geek community in general, I learned about the importance of being yourself, of not listening to what others think you should be. This goes for race, body image, sexuality, all things that I’ve been told at one point in time I was wrong in since I’m black, fat, and lesbian. But with cosplay, I met such a diverse group of people, people who are all about diversity and people who love the differences among us. I also met people who felt the same way I did at one point in time, who felt that they were, somehow, not “acting right” because of the things they were into, all because their skin color was different.
Together, we’re proving that that’s not true at all, and the more of us that show that you can be comfortable in your own skin, the more people around us gain the confidence to realize how amazing they are. Geekery and cosplay are not exclusive to one race, one gender, one body type, it’s open to everyone. And even if, at times, we all don’t agree, the general message is loud and clear: cosplay is for everyone.
Hey everyone! We’re really excited about Anime Milwaukee! Here’s my cosplay line up, my table location, and some of the stuff that my wifey and I will have available over the weekend. Hug Me Heroes, woodburned work, books, and new cosplay! This is our first con in our convention line up for the year <3
Also, I’m going to be taking pictures and sharing them on the #28DaysOfBlackCosplay hashtag everywhere I can!
Hope to see you there!
