I’ve been in the cosplay community for about a year now and while the idea of cosplaying and putting costumes together is great, you know what’s not so great?
The RIDICULOUS amount of bullying.
The fact that there are cosplay groups MADE for people to trash other cosplayers/photographers.
The massive rape culture that takes place at conventions, including sexual harassment.
The racism within the community, including cultural appropriation.
The slut shaming within the community.
The fact that victims have to suffer in silence because they’re worried that police won’t take it seriously.I keep hearing horrific story after horrific story from people talking about what was done to them - shit that is criminal. And they put up with it because they don’t think anyone can help them or that anyone will care.
I have, myself, been stalked for the past year by a “famous” cosplayer, who’s actually tried to show up at photo shoots I’m at before and sent me threats. Another cosplayer messaging photographers I work with in an effort to try to ruin my modeling career, or trying to isolate me from my friends and support systems. This stuff is FUCKED UP. It’s ABUSIVE. And the really fucked up part is how scared I’ve been to talk about it for fear that no one would take it seriously because “it’s just cosplay.”
The fact that my story IS NOT UNIQUE IS FUCKED UP.
I’m shaking as I write this because I know the second I post it that I’ll get some form of retaliation from one of my bullies, whether it be another threat or more photographers getting messages about me being an ass or more rumors being spread (for those of you who heard I’m a cr*zy d*ke - that ones kinda true. The one about me hating people with mental illnesses? Not so much.) But I have too many friends who have resigned to being miserable, having horrible anxiety, and feeling powerless in their life because they feel like they can’t say anything.
It needs to stop. And I’m done staying quiet about it.
So what I want to say to both of my bullies:
ENOUGH. Stop checking my pages, stop keeping tabs on me, stop trying to isolate me, stop trying to figure out where I’m going to be and showing up there. Just walk away. I am NOT a threat to you. I just want to dress up as fictional characters in peace for fucks sake.
To people who are suffering from cosplay bullies:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND IT IS TIME TO SPEAK. These people do not stop until you stand up for yourself. Forget the “forgiveness” and “turn the other cheek” bullshit. Silence is giving your tacit approval of what’s happening to you, and it’s not going to stop until you say something. Keep records and screenshots of everything that has happened, and don’t just sit and wallow. There are people that support and love you but they will never know they you need their support and love until you say something.
It’s NOT “just cosplay.” This is real life.
The bullying needs to stop NOW.
So my wifey sent me a link to a meme generator and things happened. Because, you know, I always speak on cosplay and positivity and loving yourself, but those ramblings get long, so here’s some quick memes to keep you going in cosplay and, well, anything you need them for :) Share them, save them, print them out and put them by your fabric as a reminder that you’re awesome and should be having fun instead of stressing about someone’s opinion <3
The Wonder Woman meme is pretty much my feelings on cosplay. Have fun, be whatever you want, love yourself, the end :)
The Tiana meme is pretty much my feelings on fat bashing and this idea that, somehow, a fat person’s existence glorifies obesity. This is a ridiculous notion. You can’t say that a fat person is lazy and useless and needs to go out and do something, then when that person does go out and does something you shoot them down. Me being in this world is about me enjoying my life, period. My weight is simply that: my weight, but there’s more to me then that, and honestly, if you choose (yes, choose, because your opinions are a choice) to be bothered my a woman who has some rolls and flabby arms then I feel sorry for you, because there is so much more to this life than one fat lady in a costume.
Person: Fat people are just lazy, they need to get out and do something.
Fat Person: *gets out and does all of the things*
Person: Ugh you’re so fat you need to stay inside so we don’t have to see this shit.
Fat Person: ………..
See. This. This is why it’s not worth stressing about.
So you know the drill, smile on the count of three: 1… 2… 3!
You know some people give others a hard time if they don’t make their own cosplays, if they buy them or someone makes them for them or whatever and… I’m wondering why no one has said anything to me about this? I don’t make my costumes at all, my partner does. Not that I think anyone should be hassled about cosplay whether they buy it or not, but… what makes me the exception? Is it because we’re together?
Or is it because there’s other things to focus on (weight, race, ect)?
All and all I think if you want to cosplay you should just do it, I mean I WANT my partner to take commissions and make people costumes so why would I ever have issue about people not making their own? Taking commissions is how some people make a living, and on top of that, again, I don’t make my costumes so who am I to be like, “Ugh how dare him/her not make their own cosplay.” I sketch ideas, sure, and maybe I’ll paint something, but that’s about it. I’m essentially the model, if you will, that shows off what my partner can do. And I have a damn good time while I do it :)
I’m thinking it’s because when I cosplay if someone wants to bash me for something, it’ll be over my appearance versus who makes it for me, you know, because I’m plus sized and black and all that jazz. I find this interesting, because I feel like to a bully its like, “Ugh she shouldn’t cosplay at all,” so the last thing on their mind is how the costume came to be. I’ve rarely gotten bashed over the quality of the costume, but because, “She’s eating herself to death,” and, “whale,” and things like that. When I do get comments on the costume itself and its a critic, its simply that: a critic, and usually one that makes my partner go, “Oh man I should’ve thought of that,” or, “I’ll remember that for next time, thanks!"
In the end bullying doesn’t discriminate, it just comes in different forms, you know? Some people get bashed for weight, for race, for being "fake,” for not making their own costumes, it’s just all kinds of ridiculous. You can be too fat, too skinny, too sexy, the wrong color, an attention whore, boring, too tan, too tall, too short, not the right gender, and all sorts of things according to a bully.
That’s why I always say just be happy with what you do, because no one else is going to cosplay a character in the way you would. There’s no one else who is going to smile the way you do, going to laugh the way you do, pose the way you do, and love a character the way you do. Cosplay the way you want, and show your love in your own way, because that way is your own <3 Buying a costume doesn’t mean you can’t bring your love and charm to it. My costumes are made for me, and I bring my smile to them all the time.
So here’s me and my partner/costume maker/coauthor/love of my life. Without her, I wouldn’t be in any of these cosplays <3
I have a lot of messages to catch up on and pictures to post while I recover from Convergence, which was ridiculously fun :) But before I do I wanted to share a message.
But here’s the honest truth.
Words can, and do, hurt, and no matter how strong you are there’s a moment where you feel a pain in your heart when someone takes time out to try and hurt you. Or maybe it really doesn’t bother you, but there was probably a time when it did. We’re human and we feel things, and when I get hate there’s a moment of sadness, exhaustion, and just this voice of doubt. It goes away when I remember the positive or hear the positive, it’s a reminder of, “Hey, you’re great.”
So besides the whole being here because I want to be, I’m also here because your encouragement keeps me going, and because if someone needs to hear that, “You’re great,” I would be more than happy to say it.
We’re here together, never forget that.
Seriously though, I always find it bizarre when people feel the need to tell you what you are. “You’re obese.” No way, really? I had no idea I was extra large, thanks for the reminder? Though in all honesty if you’re here to tell me I’m fat and you’re following me just to do so then I’m sorry that you don’t have anything else to do during the day then to tell fat people that they’re fat. I mean next you’ll tell me I’m black *gasp*
I guess it was a bit clever with the whole “eating yourself to death” bit, but I’m wondering if people just get their insults from a book that was written before cosplay even existed, because stuff like that has been said about cute chubby folks for ages. I’ve been called my fair share of names before I bestowed my large body with a hoop skirt and dress so reminding me of my juicy bits isn’t news to me, or to anyone on this page who follows me, but again if you feel the urge to shout FAT then just keep preaching to the choir around you, I’ll just keep wearing whatever I want and having a good time.
Brichibi out. *mic drops from chubby hands*
Hi everyone!
I want to bring your attention to the #notacosplayer project run by Eddie of Food and Cosplay (facebook, tumblr).
Pretty angry at those photos right? Yeah, me too. The top one is me and six of the other cosplayers are extremely close friends of mine. (I’ve tagged their pages if you click on the photos!)#notacosplayer is here to tackle the bullying within the cosplay community and especially that from outside. A lot of people, too many people believe that you have to be a thin, white woman with large boobs and an incredibly attractive face to be “allowed” to cosplay, and then what? If you are you’re brandished a slut/whore, a fake geek and only doing it for male attention. Yes there are a small handful of people who do infact cosplay for attention and have no interest in the characters, but for the people with a genuine love of what they’re doing, this is massively hurtful.
Comments like the ones above are received on a daily basis for a lot of cosplayers, whether it be a sly remark from another convention goer, on a facebook page where “well its just a picture on the internet” or some other form of online forum, the comments are read and they’re upsetting.
Cosplayers spend countless hours picking costumes, hunting down where the best place to get them from is or locating the most realistic parts for a costume. They send off designs and reference to commissioners to ensure that their piece is perfect and just how they want it, constantly giving feedback and input on their item. Some other cosplayers spend hours and hours slaving away with cuts and burns to create something they’re proud of and love.
They take a picture and hang it with absolute pride at how awesome they look, how they replicated their favorite character in their own way. They show it to their friends who all say how awesome it is and they share it around.And for what?
Definitely not for some random person off the internet to feel the need to comment and chip in, ignoring every ounce of effort and accuracy on a costume. Friend, you found this image probably because you’re a fan of what I’m cosplaying from, could you comment on my costume please?
No, straight for the jugular, right in the “you’re not good enough to cosplay because…”
“You’re #notacosplayer because…”
Well I am. And Everyone else who says their a cosplayer is a cosplayer. The rules of cosplay aren’t written on attractiveness or likeness, they’re written on costume play.
So stand proud guys. Bullying will not be tolerated anymore. Share your stories and lets stop this horrible taboo where we never speak about the nasty comments we receive. Its a major part and its driving out incredible members of our community. Negativity won’t be tolerated anymore.
You’re all amazing and incredible and you can do whatever you set your mind to. Don’t let these comments put you off doing that dream character or starting cosplaying. Stand up proud and where that costume, show bullies and negativity that you don’t care…
YOUR FABULOUS.
