So while talking to my wifey last night we came up with a series of shorts for a book series we’re calling “My Roommate’s Name Is.” In my head, they would be comics, but since I don’t have any comic drawing skills I’m writing it out. So here’s the first part to the series! 

Story One: “Steve”

Chapter One: “My Roommate is Noisy at Night and I Can’t Read My Comic Book”

Summary: Micah has a roommate who is noisy at night, therefore, he can’t read his comic book.

Warnings: NSFW overall due to sexual content (both heterosexual and LGBT) and possible violence.

Word Count: 902

Keep reading

satanlickmydick:

DEAR ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN AFRAID OF BEING JUDGED BY THE CASHIER FOR BUYING SOMETHING:

I have been working in retail for three years and let me tell you: WE DON’T CARE!

Whether you’re a trans*boy buying tampons or you’re buying laxatives or you’re buying a thong or a package of hello kitty stickers, cashiers don’t give a shit, we’re usually too busy trying to find the damn bar code or trying to sign you up for a membership card. And honestly, half the stuff I ring up doesn’t even register in my brain. My thought process when ringing someone up is; *scan* *check screen* *scan* *check screen* oh crap did they just ask me something? 

So don’t ever be afraid to buy something okay?

*kisses you and pats you on the head* Now go buy all the things!

All right real talk.

One time when I was working at GameStop I was doing a trade and someone came in with an XBOX and some games. I plugged in the XBOX to test it and when I opened the disc tray I saw that they had left their porn dvd in there. They looked so horrified and I was just like, “Here,” and gave it back before I proceeded to finish the trade, unphased, because we had a bunch of trade to process that day that was still on the back counter and the last thing I was concerned about was titty titty bang bang.

castielcampbell:

bettervillains:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

#SERIOUSLY #THE TEENAGERS ARE SO SHY AND POLITE AND NICE #MEANWHILE THE MIDDLE AGED ADULTS ARE THE RUDEST PIECES OF SHIT

i literally had these two teenagers apologizing to me for getting a video game for them and checking them out. meanwhile their parents are being the rudest people i’ve ever witnessed

Back when I worked at GameStop, one day, this lady was so pissed that we couldn’t return her game that she stormed out of the store and kicked over the display boxes we had.  Her kid ran off after her.  

About a year later, this kid came in, buying games and reserving stuff, and he actually said to me, “I’m sorry for what my mom did before.”  I was so confused and he was like, “Ah, you might not remember, but you couldn’t return a game for us and she kicked over your boxes.  I’m really sorry about that.”

Like real talk, my worst customer stories are always from dealing with adults.  My most unpleasant customers, the, “I’M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN,” bellyachers who come back a week later begging for a copy of Call of Duty 9000 were always adults, oftentimes older than me.

failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

That last bit of commentary is so true.  Some people know that if they complain high enough they’ll get what they want.  Those customer service surveys?  Yeah, I remember those.  I remember clearly three times at GameStop where it was just ridiculous but our district manager wanted to do it anyway.

1.  Someone said that our banner inside the store was hung too low so he bumped into it.  He said that it made him feel like he wasn’t welcome in our store.  Our district manager made us take it down, so from that day forth every time he wanted a banner up in a sale I’d go, “But what if someone runs into it?  Remember that survey?”  He finally said it was ridiculous and I was like, “Right?”

2.  Someone complained about buying a defective system.  Which, yes, we will exchange it sure.  However, he failed to mention how he cursed out the girl working and how he was kicked out the store for it.  Since he didn’t mention that, our district manager wanted us to call him and work it out.  Yeah.  No.  

3.  There was a customer unhappy with how much he was going to get back for cash on his games.  My district manager wanted to call him and explain how prices were set by corporate and how he’d get more for store credit.  Well, sir, we already did that, we do that all the time with trades.  It’s not like I can give him what he wants, which is more money, so what exactly am I supposed to do?  Call and apologize some more for what corporate does?  He already knows that.

But yeah, certain customers know how to bypass the people at the store level to reach someone higher up who just wants “the customer to be happy, no matter what,” even if it’s impossible.  Unless if you want me to increase the dollar amount in the computer for the trade, there’s nothing I can do.  Unless if you want HR on my ass for it.  And yes, if a customer starts swearing and threatening people he is out the door, there’s no need for that at all.  

fuckyeahretailrobin:

pinkiepiebones:

fuckyeahretailrobin:

takacomics:

fuckyeahretailrobin:

“Look I know someone who lives here so I think I should get more candy.  UGH I AM NEVER COMING TO THIS HOUSE AGAIN!”

-M

I don’t like this type of candy, can I speak to your manager?

*seal laughter*

-M

“I just came from another house and they have better candy. I just thought you should know that your competition lost you a consumer.”

*dead on the floor*

-M

Could you call the house down the block and put a Snickers on hold for me?

detrea:

The premise of minimum wage, when it was introduced, was that a single wage earner should be able to own a home and support a family.  That was what it was based on; a full time job, any job, should be able to accomplish this.

The fact people scoff at this idea if presented nowadays, as though the people that ring up your groceries or hand you your burgers don’t deserve the luxury of a home and a family, is disgusting.

This.  These people work hard, real hard, and really don’t get the pay that they deserve.  Being paid to deal with customers, trying to give them want they want, being yelled at if they mess up (on BOTH sides, customer and corporate) and being worried about losing their job if they make a mistake?  Or getting their hours cut because they might not perform as well as another employee.  I worked retail for six years and it just got worse along the way.  If you walk into a store and wonder why an employee is trying so hard to get you to sign up for something, nine times out of ten it’s because they HAVE to.  Like, literally.  Their job depends on numbers and performance, and surveys, and things like that.  It’s little pay for a lot of work, and they need more love than they actually get.