terms for penis you should not use in fics:
- love stick
- doinker
- schlong
- wankie
- ding dong
- 100% all-beef thermometer
- bologna pony
- stinky pickle
- magic wand
- divine rod
- love muscle
- power drill
- captain winky
- yogurt slinger
- DNA rifle
DNA RIFLE
Whew… “Purple headed warrior” and “Heat seeking moisture missile” are still ok to use.
So pork sword is still good?
PFFFT!
He brushes his fingers against the side of his lover’s face with a reassuring smile “Don’t worry,” he whispers, “My DNA rifle will make you feel good.”
His lover swoons, the desire clear in his eyes, “I can’t wait to feel your power drill inside of me.”
***
What have I done?!
