Being insulted is one thing.

But insulting friends? That’s grounds for a Cupcake Bomb.

Check out the magnifiqueNOIR Kickstarter, an upcoming book series that centers on black, queer, magical girls. The books will be novels with full colored illustrations and mini-comics like this one :)

Seriously, if you want to cosplay, do it. I know some people worry about what others will think of their cosplay, and I understand that feeling, especially after getting my share of negative comments. Don’t let those comments get you down. I know it’s hard, because it’s really easy to focus on the negative, on the “what if someone makes fun of me.” And, honestly, I do it too. I have that doubtful voice in my head. But then I remember all the fun I have and how amazing I feel when I’m walking around as these characters. That’s what you should focus on, and that’s what you should think about. Instead of wondering, “Will someone make fun of me,” think about all the fun you’ll have. Think in positive what if scenarios. What if everyone loves your cosplay? What if you meet some amazing people? Don’t let the negative, or the potential of something negative, stop you. Cosplay is something you do for yourself; it’s something you do because you want to have fun, because you like to be creative, and you love a certain character or series. Keep those things in mind.

I got to do an interview for Women Write About Comics and I kinda love that they used this snippet of the interview in the preview pic <3 <3 <3 This incident happened nearly 2 years ago but it’s still my favorite response every to being bullied. 

If someone tells me that I’m not worthy of something enough times, I’ll start to believe it. I have believed it. I’ve believed that I wasn’t worth it because of my race. I’ve believed that I was ugly. I’ve been told to “stop acting white” because I like anime, video games, and cosplay. And I know a lot of others have felt the same way because of the color of their skin. Those people need to be shown that they are beautiful, that they’re worth it, that they’re equal. It’s great to think we all should be equal but there are plenty of black people out there who think that they shouldn’t be because of the crap that gets flung at them; who think that they CAN’T be. Equality is great, but you have to WANT it, and if you feel like you’re beneath everyone around you, you’re going to think you don’t deserve it.  That’s what #28DaysOfBlackCosplay is about, and it’s so wonderful to see so many people taking part in it. This encouragement is just a start to what we hope to accomplish within the cosplay community, so that everyone can feel comfortable with who they are and truly enjoy cosplay.

My write up for the Twin Cities Geek about the importance of #28DaysOfBlackCosplay :)

Thank you so much!  The first thing to remember is that its all about having fun, and to not worry about what your cosplay looks like compared to someone else, ESPECIALLY when you’re starting out, because that can just bring about some unwanted intimidation feels that you really don’t need. Honestly, just pick a character and go for it.  Don’t be afraid to ask for tips on how to make stuff, or look at tutorials or whatnot, or heck, if you can’t make certain parts don’t be afraid to go out and buy bits and pieces, places like Goodwill are your friend (especially around Halloween).  

This fabulousness (quoting you and smiling while I do so) is from years and years of cosplay, my first cosplay was back in 2004.  

Like this is my first cosplay:

That was 10 years ago.  The important thing to remember is that, just like with anything else, it takes times and practice and you’ll improve over time. So just pick who you want to cosplay and get going  <3  

Something I will never understand is this mindset to “stop whining.”  Like, if someone is making fun of you, aren’t you supposed to stand up for yourself? With the cosplay article and stuff I’ve been told a few times (very few) to “stop whining” because that just fuels the haters more.  Why is the expectation to just sit quietly, take in the nasty comments, and not say or do anything?  

Granted, I didn’t say anything directly to the person who hated on me, but I did, at least, do something.  There’s some people who just aren’t worth the effort because they’re literally just there to make you feel bad.  But I could at least, you know, respond in my own way.  I wrote an article and I fried some chicken.  I said some stuff to show that, you know, this kind of thing happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there and being you.  How is that “whining” at all?  I’ve been told to “own up to my fat” and like, I never once said that I didn’t?  I know what I am, and I flat out said that.    

Also, telling someone not to complain and whine isn’t helpful.  Everyone reacts differently to things.  Such nasty comments don’t bother me because I already have been called a bunch of names growing up, but there’s people who aren’t like me.  There’s people who are affected by words, and you telling them to “stop whining” isn’t going to solve anything.  They’re not going to magically be like, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m fat I should be proud.”  I wasn’t like that before.  It’s not like I was magically some woman who fried chicken in the face of my haters, no.  It takes time to gain confidence, and there’s nothing wrong with it taking time.  It’s not o.k. to look down on a plus sized person who gets upset about being called names.  How is that going to help them?  “Just shut up and laugh it off,” how is that encouraging at all?  That’s just going to make someone feel worse, because not only are they suddenly “a fat whale” according to some asshole, but according to you they cry too much. According to you they’re just looking for sympathy and need to suck it up and move on.  But, not everyone can move on, and you’re not going to help by trying to shove them forward.    

You don’t fix a negative with a negative.

Should you be ashamed of who you are?  No, of course not, you should love yourself.  But the way you get someone to feel that love is by encouragement, and frankly, being called a cry baby isn’t encouraging.  That article wasn’t looking for sympathy, at no point was I like, “I got made fun of whoa is me,” it was flat out, “Hey I got made fun of, it happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love.  There are a lot of people out there who will love what you do, so go out there and be you.”  I mean for fuck’s sake, I fried chicken over it.  I don’t need sympathy, and I’m not whining.  I’m speaking my mind and telling others to not be afraid to cosplay because some asshole wants to call them names.  But, at the same time, if it takes someone a minute to be at the level of confidence you want them to be at, then please, give them a minute.  Eventually, they’ll be able to “laugh it off” and enjoy how wonderful they are, but if they can’t do that right this second, that’s fine too.