To all the fat girls who don’t care they are fat; who dress fiercely and fly. God bless you, let’s party.
my goal in life is to provoke this feeling in every insecure fat girl because shit we wonderful
I swear everything I do is going to equal fat to some people.
Have a college degree in English and Women’s Studies? That’s glorifying obesity.
Get an award from my Women’s Studies Department? That’s glorifying obesity.
Get a book published? That’s glorifying obesity.
Get another book published? Double the fat.
A third? Triple cheeseburger!
Two short stories? Super-size me.
Edit books? With a side of fries!
Snuggle with my cats? That’s glorifying obesity.
Plan my wedding? Obesity.
Cosplay? Obesity.
Woodburn? OBESITY!
All these things are bringing me closer to death because everything I do is glorifying obesity and obesity kills and people are just concerned for my well being so obesity obesity OBESITY! No matter what I do there’s always going to be those people who only see the chunkiness of my size instead of my accomplishments, which is why I always say do the things that make you happy, don’t worry about these people. You could invent a way to breathe in space without a helmet and be a godsend to NASA, but these people will still tell you that you’re showing fat people how to be lazy because now they don’t have to put any effort into lifting their arms up to put on the helmet.
Holy wow, my cosplay got shared on a pretty big group called Elite Girl Gamers, which is pretty rad! There’s a mix of comments about it, from me being awesome to me promoting some unhealthy lifestyle by simply existing. In the end, everyone is entitled to their opinion, it’s just interesting to see the different view points and people going back and forth about me and what I do, and what people view as being inspirational or not.
Honestly though, cosplay, to me, will always be about having fun. There’s no reason to tell someone they can’t have fun based on superficial things like weight or race or gender or whatever. We’re dressing in costume as fictional characters, who really has the right to tell someone that they’re doing it wrong? Who sets the rules? Someone says I’m too fat to be Wonder Woman but, in an instant, Gal Gadot – who is playing Wonder Woman – looks too frail and isn’t big enough. We could get a room full of Wonder Women and I can guarantee you that none of them will be perfect, because someone is going to point out something. No one is perfect, we don’t live in a perfect world, and frankly I don’t want to. I want the diversity and the differences between us. I’d be boring if we were all the same.
Truthfully, people already have to deal with ridiculous beauty standards outside of this community, and people seem to forget that this community is supposed to be enjoyable. Being told that I’m fat isn’t something that only happens in cosplay, society already has its never consistent standards of beauty and I grew up being told that I’m wrong in some way: too fat, black girls don’t do that, or that, and other such things. We have magazines that tell us how to lose weight while telling us how to bake a cake, they tell us how to diet, then it changes that diet, then it changes that diet. We’re told curves are in, then they’re not, then they’re in again – but don’t get too curvy, but then you’re not curvy enough, then we want thigh gaps and flat tummies, but not too flat.
Then you see that the “beautiful” people get photoshopped anyway.
It’s a mess, it always has been a mess, it always will be a mess, there’s never going to be a set answer to what “acceptable” is because people change their opinion all the time.
Am I setting a bad example by walking around with my rolls and flabby arms? People think fat means lazy, but then fat walks out the door and doesn’t sit at home all day but then that’s just gross to look at. So you don’t want fat to be lazy yet when its not lazy its not appealing to look at. You can’t have it both ways. You won’t have it both ways. And, for that matter, why does me being outside need to concern you? Why are you so focused on the physical? Is the smile not enough? The costume? Me being happy and living my life? Who made you dictator of my lifestyle? Out of all of the hatred that exists in this world why is one fat girl setting the bad example?
She’s not. You just think she is, and it makes you uncomfortable that she doesn’t think she’s a bad example, and others don’t think she’s a bad example, but an inspiration, a reason to get out there and join in on the fun. Because that’s what cosplay is, and cosplay never once said that fat people weren’t allowed to come out and play.
I woke up to a loooot of anon asks (and a few very sweet logged in ones!) about my Jessica, some good, some bad, but two in particular stood out and were kindly worded!
First of all, apologies for appearing to speak for everyone! That post was a series of personal anecdotes about my own experiences. It was never meant to be a manifesto for plus-size cosplayers!
I am over 200lbs, I am considered more than a little overweight for my height (5’11”) medically speaking, but it’s very true that my weight distributes itself in a way that’s seen as ‘socially acceptable’ fat by the tumblr fat-positivity wagon at large. For every derisive comment I’ve gotten about my weight, I’ve gotten plenty “hot fat girl” comments and people (usually men) expressing surprise at “how fat I really am”. People who come up to me in Jessica from the front and then see me from the side and get alarmed that I’m secretly thick, like I deceived them.
I guess the thing is, I don’t see those comments as positive. Alarm that an overweight girl could POSSIBLY BE PRETTY just sucks, but it’s also the concept of me ‘fooling’ them. Like I’m masquerading as skinny to trick them into finding me attractive. That is NOT why I wear a corset under my Jessica cosplay.
I love my tits, I love my ass, and I love how cute I can make myself look with no body shapers involved once I started embracing my body and stop trying to hide it. Jessica Rabbit is a cartoon, I wear a corset because that sort of cartoonish figure is not something I can achieve without some steel boning, but I don’t wear a corset to hide myself. There’s a cosplay me, and a real me, and the cosplay me has definitely helped me rediscover that I can, in fact, love my body — but when I say that, I don’t mean ‘my body in a corset’, I mean MY body.
Sometimes it takes putting on a mask or some crazy makeup or, yes, a corset, to find yourself physically. That’s what it took for me. For you, or anyone else, it might be a very different road. Just remember that it’s one we’re all walking on together.
I feel like there’s so many levels to what “plus” or “overweight” is, and everyone has a different definition of it. Like I look at this girl (even without the Jessica Rabbit) and think, “how is she fat?” But that’s because I’m comparing her to my own size. But the same goes for me compared to my partner, and even my own mother. To me I think, “How can people see you as being overweight?” But it happens, you know? We were just at the doctor yesterday and my partner got the “you need to lose some weight” speech. But she’s smaller than me so my immediate thought is, “How?” Then I realize that according to her height and all these other factors, yes, she’s overweight.
When we think of thinks like “plus sized” and “overweight” I think we think of our own size, so when someone is smaller than us we think, “Wait hold up, you’re not plus sized.” Like my partner? She can find her bras at a department store versus me who can barely find it at Lane Bryant, and that’s IF they have the highest size possible at that location. Again, same with my mom. She shops at Lane Bryant and I think, “But wait you’re not plus sized, are you?” But she’s big in certain areas so, yeah, she is.
You also can’t really speak for someone else’s experience. Just because someone is smaller than you in weight doesn’t mean people haven’t called them names. That’s one of the big things I learned when I wrote my article about plus sized cosplay. People came to me and shared their stories, and I would think, “But wait what are you like a 14? 16? Is that really plus?” But yeah, they had been picked on, called names, and everything. I even remember some girl told me that she was LOSING weight and getting crap because she wasn’t losing it fast enough according to the people around her.
I also feel for that whole idea of you somehow deceiving someone because they don’t see your size? Like I remember being told I was “cute in the face,” like my cute face was deceiving them because I’m fat? Like, “how dare you be a cutie when your stomach is large,” what does that even mean? My face is attached to my body I’m not hiding the fact that I’m fat, kinda hard to do that. I’d hate to disappoint you but fat people aren’t always those people you see on the diet commercials who don’t wear cute clothes and do their hair until the power of Jenny Craig compels them.
So, it happened. I got my first comment on the article that went something like this:
Come on man!! Why would anyone let themselves go like this, and claim to be proud to be FAT???????????????????????????????????????
And here is my response, which I am sharing, because I think it’s important to say:
Because fat is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a body type. I’ve been fat for a long time, from back when I was a kid. It doesn’t mean I’m lazy or that I “let myself go.” I still do all the things that skinny geeks do: cosplay, conventions, video games, anime, hanging out with friends, ect. Sorry I’m not the fat lump who sits on the couch and is depressed and beating themselves up, but realistically, most of us aren’t.
I can be proud because of what I’ve done in my life. I graduated college, I’ve published a book, I have two more on the way, I’ve written for a lot of geeky websites about the things I love, and I’ve been in a relationship for 12 years. I have a house, a car, and am writing on a daily basis, which is what I studied in college.
The things I’m proud of have nothing to do with my size, I didn’t accomplish these things because I’m fat nor did I treat my size like a handicap to stop me from doing the things I want. THAT’S what I’m proud of. Fat does not equal incapable.
***
I’m really tired of this assumption that fat people are just lazy folks who don’t do anything, because that is so far from the truth that it’s laughable. Lazy people come in a variety of sizes, lazy is not something exclusive to fat people. Fat people can be active, hell, they ARE active. Fat doesn’t mean someone just gave up and decided to be a lump that eats all the time and does nothing else, despite what the weight loss commercials will tell you (oh whoa is me I’m so sad and fat that I can’t even get up and play with my kids but with diet pill plus now only did I lose weight but I went to the hair salon and went shopping for new clothes). Despite what the media will tell you, I:
1. Do not eat all the time 2. Am not single and miserable 3. Am not friendless 4. Do not have fat, miserable friends 5. Do not have a hatred/jealousy towards skinny people 6. Do not try to fool myself into fitting into a size 12 when I’m a size 26/28 7. Am not stuck wearing hideous clothes 8. Am not incapable of “being pretty”
Here is the truth about me:
1. I eat the same amount as any other person, I’m not gorging on an entire chicken or eating ice cream for dessert 2. I have been in a relationship for 12 years 3. I have a lot of friends who come in a variety of sizes, from fat like me to skinny as can be 4. I do not hate my skinny friends. I am not jealous of them. I love them, and to that extent 5. I do not think they are friends with me because they pitty my fat existence, they are not trying to change me and I wouldn’t even be cosplaying this much if it weren’t for them 6. I’m a big girl who wears big clothes. So what. There are places with clothes that fit us right (thank you Lane Bryant for existing) I’m not a big girl who tries to squeeze into something she can’t fit, if it’s not comfortable I ain’t wearin’ it. 7. Despite be being in denial about my cuteness when people bring it up, that’s just me being blushy and flustered. Truth is, I’m pretty damn cute.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to purchase Pacific Rim and geek all over it when it arrives in the mail.
And this is why I put myself out there. These assumptions are not only terrible, but they’re old and inaccurate. Fat does not, does not, does NOT mean incapable.
I cannot stress enough how much I love this. I absolutely hate seeing “lose weight” ads that always have these miserable, terrible looking plus-sized people, like, “I can’t wear nice clothes or get my hair done or have a social life because I’m fat.” There was one with this mom who just sat around and wouldn’t play with her kids, “because I’m fat,” like… whut?! Um… fat does NOT equal lazy, you can be lazy or uninteresting or uncaring at ANY size, o.k.?
And if I had to choose, I’d take these people any day, who doesn’t want a girl who can cut an elephant out of grass?!
I’m fat. I have a job. I have friends. I have a partner of eleven years. I craft. I cosplay. I write. I play video games. I watch anime. I go out. My clothes are nice. My hair is in good shape. I have a car. I have a house. I have a cat. Trust me, my fat isn’t holding me back from anything!
This is the story of a geeky anime/gaming gal by the name of Chibi. Please fasten your seat belts and prepare for... some sort of ride? Oh! I love to write, and I also love doing crafty things. I go to conventions with my partner and sell woodburned things, clocks, mirrors, and more! So expect to see those on here too :)
