dickrockerjanecrocker:
likesboyswholikeboys:
you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, but you can’t deny there’s something very wrong with 13 and 14-year old girls going out in skirts and dresses so short they barely cover their asses and shirts with necklines so low they show off cleave they haven’t got yet, drinking and even smoking and hooking up with guys before they even have a substantial knowledge of how sex and sexual relationships work.
Thank YOU HOLY SHIT
Real talk though, this is a really good point. Slut-shaming is wrong, yes, but I will never, ever forget that my best friend back at home lost her virginity at age 11. And that guy’s friend tried to sleep with me. Outside of the middle school across the street from my house. I freaked out so bad and ran home. But yeah, she was sexually active at 11, and when I talk to her now she regrets it. She regrets being a kid and doing grown up things that no kid should do.
Yes, slut-shaming is wrong, but there’s a difference between that and young girls going out like that, smoking, drinking, sleeping around, and everything. And yeah, the guy is responsible, but my friend knew what she was doing. She smoked. She drank. She slept around. I know girls who got pregnant in my high school because they wanted to be grown. You know what these girls would do? They would go out and get abortions, then repeated the process (which is why for a while in high school I was very, very anti-abortion, because they were using it as a way to keep doing what they did, like, “Oh haha pregnant again gonna go get an abortion then hit up this cute guy.”) Like they didn’t learn from it, they kept going down this really destructive lifestyle.
The worst part is that these young girls think it’s cute, you know, to have this guy flirting with them and wanting to do all sorts of things to them. They consider it a compliment. The girls I knew in high school thought it was so great when some guy (especially if they were older) wanted to “hit that” and what not. And they’d go off with him. And not tell their parents. “Girl I fucked his brains out,” and just… they think that this is o.k. This is not what we mean when we say slut-shaming is wrong. Women (read women, grown women) can dress how they want. If you’re not old enough to wear something past a training bra, not old enough to know what a period is, then no. No. You are not old enough to drink, to smoke, to fuck, just… no.
I honestly cannot tell you how I didn’t end up the same way. Maybe it’s because I had a mom who got pregnant early with my older brother, so she told me, “Do not do this. Do not do what your friend does.” This doesn’t mean that it never crossed my mind. Yeah I was the geeky girl, but when your best friend lives next door to you and she’s going out to parties, drinking when adults aren’t around, and messing around with guys you think, “Hmmmm…” It also didn’t help that I was overweight and geeky, so seeing the pretty skinny girls get the attention can knock your self esteem. And I had this plus sized best friend who was confident and sleeping with guys and getting attention so part of me was like, “Wow… ”
And that’s the really scary part about this. Girls are thinking this is o.k., and other girls go along with it because they’re friends do it. "Maybe I should sleep with this guy,“ and what not. I remember when I had my first real boyfriend I didn’t sleep with him, and my friends were like, "Why? Girl you better give him some.” And just, this is not cool. This is not o.k. But literally, this was the conversation we would have. "You haven’t slept with him yet?“ I was 17! I’ve messed around with guys but chickened out at the last minute and THANK FUCKING GOD I did. Same with the steady boyfriend I had. Thank god I didn’t sleep with him. I kind of discovered that they could care less about me, I was the virgin friend and they could be my first, wow, awesome, but I always pulled back and just… thank goodness. Especially with my ex, who got mad at me for not sleeping with him when he visited me at college, with my mother. MY MOTHER! No I’m not going to fuck you then go back to my mom’s room, and no, I am not going to fuck you on the anniversary of my brother’s death (true story, it was on that day, then when they all left he stopped talking to me). Now, what if I would’ve actually slept with this guy, huh?
I went away to college, and when I look back on things I think part of me realizes that I went away because I wanted to get away. I love my friends back at home to pieces but I wanted to get away from that. And when I go back home and visit my best friend, the girl who is like my sister, she regrets it so much. She knows that doing all of that stuff was terrible. And a lot of the people (guys and girls) who did that stuff in high school are in the same exact position they were in back in high school. My friend has two kids and she’s working hard to take care of them, and I’m proud of her for stepping up as a mother when their father is a piece of shit, but we’re in such different worlds now. I’m writing and going to conventions when I can. I don’t have to worry about kids, or deadbeat dads. I have my own house and she’s in the same house she grew up in with her grandmother, next door to my old house, because the kids have a crappy father and her current boyfriend was on the way to jail. And when we talked she just looked so tired.
The kicker is that one of her kids is a girl, and I can’t help but think that she’s looking at this girl and thinking, "Do not do what I did.” So yeah, like I said, slut-shaming is wrong, it absolutely is. But that doesn’t mean that when you see a girl too young to fully understand these things that you can’t, and shouldn’t, pull her aside like, “No.” Yes teach your boys, absolutely, but teach your girls too, please.
