The Inner Workings of a Chibi.

Posted on Facebook but posting here, too.

It may be a while for a proper convention report because we’re currently in Wisconsin still. Someone rear ended us on our way home. We’re both o.k. and so is the other driver, which is the most important part. The car is at the tow place with all of our stuff save for one suitcase with clothes and stuff to last for the night. Tonight we’re both going to relax after talking to our insurance company and figure out what can be done.

It goes without saying, but if you’re out there driving, be careful o.k.?

ussawesome:

when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

My life story.

That moment when you watch people argue back and forth about things and realize you’re like the youngest in the group and are wondering why people are so stupid.  Today needs to be over.  Writing shouldn’t be this goddamn complicated.

I woke up from a nap just now because I decided to give up and sleep since the day was kinda crap.  Now I have more followers  O.O  Hello kind people, thank you for the love and making my crap day better  :)

Honestly I think it’s a combination of things.  Stressing about job stuff and stretching myself way too thin without taking a break.  This writing thing is great, but it’s a crazy amount of hard work and it takes a long while to see results.  This on top of commissions and conventions and just… yeah.  It’s hard for me to admit when I need to just stop for a second, because I feel like I should be doing all the things so I can make this happen.

Then this Saturday is the anniversary of my brother’s death, which is hitting me real hard this year, because he’s not here for the books and me essentially finally working at the things I want.  I want to be able to call him and tell him about stuff that’s going on.  The books, the conventions, the crafts we make, the costumes.  I want to tell him everything.  Usually, I treat it as a “he knows” sort of deal, but this year it just… it fucking sucks.  So him not being here, plus me worrying about pretty much everything (money, job, how this writing this is going,ect.) is just… exhausting and somewhat depressing at times.  My mom has also been calling me every day, which is perfectly fine, but I know she’s missing him a lot and I am too.  I know why she calls when we have pretty much nothing new to talk about.  I know why she sent me that box of clothes and has been spoiling me when she can.  I know why she’s been visiting so much (Thanksgiving will make 3 times this year).  Yeah, my book coming out and turning 30 was a big deal, but I know why she wants to be around me so much.  It’s going through those things and him not being here for them.  He should be here, or at least I should be able to call him, or vice versa.  When my mom calls me, she should be able to call him right after, or something.  It kills me that I can’t call him like I call my mom and dad, that I didn’t get to give him a “my book is getting published” call, or a “My 30th birthday is coming up,” or, “Hey guess what I can finally get married to the woman I’ve been with for almost 12 years.”  

Anyhow, I finally went upstairs and slept.  I stayed up past 4 in the morning yesterday editing the next book, then woke up before 9 am and have been trying to clean, work on stuff for our next con, and just… yeah a nap was needed.  And now there’s more people following me and calling me pretty names, so that was nice to wake up to  :)

This weekend I’m going to have a ton of fun because we’re going to Ren Fest.  I have friends coming into town and staying here, so I’m hoping for wonderful distractions to take my mind off of what Saturday is.  Though it has helped to write this all out.  

Thanks for listening.  Or at least skimming it while scrolling through your dash.  

darlingchristie:

Ever have a day where all you really need or want is a real, bona fide, physical hug?  Yep, that’s me, today.

I’m not a big fan of being touched by people, especially by strangers, due to some past circumstances in my life.  But really, I just need someone to come over and put their arms around me and hug me for a while.  That’s it.

Weird request, I know.  But, there you have it.

It okay I’m way tired and grumpy and disliking a lot of things and stressing and not liking the cat who tracked in poop all over the floor while I’m stressing about everything in life.  Things are not cool right now but hugs are always cool  *snuggle hug*  

Also if you need to cheer yourself up watch the last episode of Free which has the best snuggle hugs it’ll make you happy.  In fact I think I’m going to do that right now, or at least stare lovingly at the gif set.

I’m hungry but I don’t feel like cooking anything: an autobiography.

tonystarksdangertits:
“ terminus-est:
“ I feel like I need to print this out and tape it to the lamp next to my bed so I see it every goddamn day.
”
yeah, I need this in poster form
”
“Writing isn’t a real job.”
“Unless if you’re a celebrity or...

tonystarksdangertits:

terminus-est:

I feel like I need to print this out and tape it to the lamp next to my bed so I see it every goddamn day.

yeah, I need this in poster form

“Writing isn’t a real job.”

“Unless if you’re a celebrity or horribly disfigured you’ll never get published.”

“Writing is easy.”

“You’re too ______ to cosplay ______.”

“You’d be so cute if you lost weight.”

“You actually play video games?”

“Gay people shouldn’t get married.”

“It’s just a phase.”

“You haven’t found the right man.”

“It’s because your boyfriend hurt you.”

“It’s because you took Women’s Studies, now you hate men.”

“You haven’t slept with a man so how would you know?”

“You sound white.”

brichibiwritesthings:
“ teslaandhispigeon:
“ Can we please just tell every middle schooler this instead of making them feel embarrassed by their existence and their need to try new things? It would be much nicer to hear this through middle school and...

brichibiwritesthings:

teslaandhispigeon:

Can we please just tell every middle schooler this instead of making them feel embarrassed by their existence and their need to try new things? It would be much nicer to hear this through middle school and high school than it is to hear about how dumb your phase or whatever is and how much you’ll regret it in a year.

God.  Yes.  This.  Stop telling kids they don’t know because they’re too young, that they’re wrong in the way they feel.  In reality, you don’t know how they feel, because we all feel differently about things.  And don’t forget, this was you when you were this age.  You didn’t know.  Stop acting like you knew what your life was going to be like at this point.  Stop acting like when you were that age you weren’t confused about something, or scared, or frustrated when someone told you, “you don’t know because you’re too young.”

I am so thankful I have the parents I do.  I was completely different from the people in my age group. I wasn’t interested in dating, I was interested in DBZ.  I didn’t want to go to the dance, I wanted to stay up and read fanfiction.  I had a great mom who got me that Nintendo 64.  I had a dad that let me play Mortal Kombat and realized that it wasn’t going to warp my mind.  I have parents who still have the crappy drawings of Goku that I did.  They watched me go to conventions in college and dress up like different characters, and they complimented me.  They spazzed over my art, they were happy when I said that I was going to conventions to try and sell it.  They’re reading my books as they come out and laughing over the geeky references.

They’re also fully prepare to dress up for my Mortal Kombat themed wedding in the future, in fact, my mother insisted.  My almost 60 year old mother wants to dress up for my Mortal Kombat wedding, wig and all.  I was thinking of having a geek wedding where the geeky references were hidden and my dad was like, “We already know it’s going to be nerdy.  So what.”  My mom, too.  So it’s fatality cake for all! 

My mother is such a good example on what to do when your child does something you don’t understand.  She doesn’t like anime, at all, she doesn’t get it.  And she’s not into video games either.  But you know what, she saw that I was, and she was like, “I don’t get it, but that’s your thing, so it’s o.k.”  She would get games for me, she would buy those DBZ tapes, she even tried to sit and watch some episodes with me.  The fact that she was trying for me and letting me do it even if she didn’t like it means the world to me.  My dad was the same way, we’d play Mortal Kombat together and he’d complain when I beat him, he sat and watched me try Metal Gear Solid and Dead or Alive.  It’s just the little things like this that mean the world to a kid.

And you know what?  I’ve never been happier.  I don’t think adults realize how important their opinion is to kids, even if kids are like, “Shut up I can do what I want,” or whatever, that parental unit is vital.  It’s so easy to break a kid down by bashing what they like and telling them they don’t understand because they’re just too young.  Teenage is such an important age period.  You’re developing, and feeling things, and you’re around a bunch of other people who are, too.  You’re trying to fit in when you don’t even know who you are yet.  There’s pressure all around you from friends, family, school, everywhere you go.  And let’s not even get into when you hit 16.  Suddenly, you need to start thinking about your future.  At 16.  ”College?  Job?  What career do you want?”  Career?  At 16 I wasn’t even sure what jeans I wanted to wear, let alone a career.  And it better be a career that makes you money, because if you say something else there’s a chance of getting a, “That’s not a real job” speech.  ”How are you going to support your family with that,” speech.  I’m 16 you just asked me what I wanted to do, so I turn to what I like: writing, drawing, whatever, and you say, “No that’s not a career.”  

You should never, ever listen to those people.  My mother told me over and over and over again to go into writing.  My dad wanted me to go into art.  They both wanted me to take on a creative field and I didn’t listen.  I was scared, you know, because, “Not a real job.”  I almost failed out of college until I finally, finally picked up Women’s Studies, ended up writing and reading and remembering how much I loved it in high school, then picked up Creative Writing.  Best decision I ever made.  But after graduation I ended up making the same mistake again, taking any job I could find because I needed money and the economy is bad you need a job now hurry up.  I stayed at GameStop for 6 years, thinking one day I’d become a manager.  Thank goodness for the review jobs I found on the side and fanfiction for having me keep up the writing, because as the job started to tank I started to write more.  Now I have a book out and my mom is like, “… I told you so.”  Yeah, she did.  And I didn’t listen because I was too busy listening to discouraging people.

Don’t.  Don’t do that, ever.  Like this post says, be who you are, and if you don’t know who that is that’s o.k.  You’re young, try things, always try things.  Never stop trying things, even when you get older.  Life is about trying things.  And, most importantly, have fun with it.  

Rambling about growing up and life and things this morning  ^^