Oh man, I actually took professional pictures in my Tiana cosplay for the first time :)
Pictures by: Nude Carbon Studios
My cosplay page: Brichibi Cosplays
For the love of goodness gracious, can we please stop assuming that plus sized people just flat out HATE skinny people? Can we get over this notion that I must look at every single skinny person I see and just want to strangle them? Because I don’t. Honest. I would have to be locked up for life if I strangled all the skinny people I encounter.
There’s this article that is getting a lot of shit right now in regards to the article writer seeing a larger, black woman in her yoga class, and she goes into this thought process of being suddenly aware of her skinny, white girl body, and how she could feel the contempt from this woman behind her and how, surely, this woman was noticing how skinny she was and feeling resentment and judging her.
Of course the article writer is just ASSUMING all of these things because SHE NEVER ONCE EVEN ATTEMPTS TO TALK TO THIS WOMAN! “Oh wow it must be hard being the minority in class,” but instead of trying to welcome her or something she just goes on these mental tangents of being suddenly aware of her all white yoga class, how hard that must be for the big black lady, how she looked so afraid to be there, how it must be terrible to see all these skinny white bodies, and just… UGH!
O.K. Sure. I’m not saying that these aren’t thoughts that plus sized people have, but STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS! Don’t look at me in this, “Oh wow. Her looking at my thin frame must be hard.” No. Stop thinking that every time I walk outside and see skinny, white people, I’m suddenly miserable. And goddamn, lady, if you really do have this huge epiphany and feel bad for the only black, plus sized lady in your class struggling through class SAY HELLO TO HER! Give her some tips. Some encouragement on her first day. SOMETHING! And by the way, yoga isn’t easy in the first place. You’re not going to get it your first try, so who knows, maybe she’s looking frustrated because it’s hard, not because, “Oh god I’m so fat and black,” but you wouldn’t know that because YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO HER! You just sat there and assumed, “I know she hates me, if I say something she’s going to hate me more,” just… wow. How do you go from feeling bad for the only black lady to being like, “Welp she hates me so I’m not going to say a word,” and just… NO!
Again, I’m not saying that these insecurities don’t exist, but she literally puts these insecurities on this lady she doesn’t even know. She looks at her and thinks, “Wow she must be horrified to be here. She must be feeling so insecure, and her looking at me isn’t making it any better.” What. The. Fuck! What, you think saying that you’re wearing a tastefully, tacky sports bra somehow makes you sound less attractive so we’ll feel bad for you? Like, “Oh jeez, she’s skinny but she’s not dressed well so she has flaws, too, and it’s unfortunate that this new woman can’t see past her skinniness to notice that.” Really? Really?! You just spent the article talking about how you assume this woman is feeling these things simply from looking at you. Not just the entire class, but you specifically. Your magical skinniness is what all the big black ladies envy, you know. It makes us feel bad about ourselves and we hate you for it. Hiiiiiiiss.
The article in question is here. You have to love that title, right? Here’s the article in question: For the love of goodness gracious, can we please stop assuming that plus sized people just flat out HATE skinny people? Can we get over this notion that I must look at every single skinny person I see and just want to strangle them? Because I don’t. Honest. I would have to be locked up for life if I strangled all the skinny people I encounter.
There’s this article that is getting a lot of shit right now in regards to the article writer seeing a larger, black woman in her yoga class, and she goes into this thought process of being suddenly aware of her skinny, white girl body, and how she could feel the contempt from this woman behind her and how, surely, this woman was noticing how skinny she was and feeling resentment and judging her.
Of course the article writer is just ASSUMING all of these things because SHE NEVER ONCE EVEN ATTEMPTS TO TALK TO THIS WOMAN! “Oh wow it must be hard being the minority in class,” but instead of trying to welcome her or something she just goes on these mental tangents of being suddenly aware of her all white yoga class, how hard that must be for the big black lady, how she looked so afraid to be there, how it must be terrible to see all these skinny white bodies, and just… UGH!
O.K. Sure. I’m not saying that these aren’t thoughts that plus sized people have, but STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS! Don’t look at me in this, “Oh wow. Her looking at my thin frame must be hard.” No. Stop thinking that every time I walk outside and see skinny, white people, I’m suddenly miserable. And goddamn, lady, if you really do have this huge epiphany and feel bad for the only black, plus sized lady in your class struggling through class SAY HELLO TO HER! Give her some tips. Some encouragement on her first day. SOMETHING! And by the way, yoga isn’t easy in the first place. You’re not going to get it your first try, so who knows, maybe she’s looking frustrated because it’s hard, not because, “Oh god I’m so fat and black,” but you wouldn’t know that because YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO HER! You just sat there and assumed, “I know she hates me, if I say something she’s going to hate me more,” just… wow. How do you go from feeling bad for the only black lady to being like, “Welp she hates me so I’m not going to say a word,” and just… NO!
Again, I’m not saying that these insecurities don’t exist, but she literally puts these insecurities on this lady she doesn’t even know. She looks at her and thinks, “Wow she must be horrified to be here. She must be feeling so insecure, and her looking at me isn’t making it any better.” What. The. Fuck! What, you think saying that you’re wearing a tastefully, tacky sports bra somehow makes you sound less attractive so we’ll feel bad for you? Like, “Oh jeez, she’s skinny but she’s not dressed well so she has flaws, too, and it’s unfortunate that this new woman can’t see past her skinniness to notice that.” Really? Really?! You just spent the article talking about how you assume this woman is feeling these things simply from looking at you. Not just the entire class, but you specifically. Your magical skinniness is what all the big black ladies envy, you know. It makes us feel bad about ourselves and we hate you for it. Hiiiiiiiss.
Here’s the article in question. It is getting a lot, and I mean a LOT, of shit. Most of the notes I scrolled through (I stopped after a while because there are over 2000 in the span of 2 days) pretty much make the same points I do, to the point that there are even spoof articles out there for this article.
I just… please stop making assumptions about me being this sad, plump black girl who looks at all the white, skinny girls of the world and cry myself to sleep at night. And by the way, starting your article with, “It’s the new year so my class is getting the resolution crowd who are going to give up after a month,” is NOT a good way to segway into, “Suddenly there was a large black woman behind me.”
Man I thought I was done ranting! It’s Sunday morning!
But a friend on Facebook posted this to make a great point so I’m going to do the same.
I dislike it when I see things like this (which is the point she was making, too). I dislike it when someone decides to support someone who is plus sized by bashing skinny people. That’s not supportive. Skinny people have done nothing wrong. And furthermore, what kind of example is that to set? We want people to support us, but then we bash the people we want support from in the same breath?
I have nothing against skinny people. At all. I have skinny people in my life and I’m not jealous of them or making snide comments about them, because they love me for me, and I love them for them. But I think this is a thing that happens to show support for someone who is plus sized and it’s not cool. And I will admit that, back in the day, I use to laugh at stuff like this and had this whole, “Skinny girl just needs to eat a sandwich,” mentality, like waaaaaaaaaaaay back in high school, but looking back… how terrible is that? Especially if your friends are skinny, or even if they’re plus sized but smaller than you. My partner is smaller than me. So is my mother.
The point of this whole plus sized acceptance thing is to show that you shouldn’t make fun of us because of our size, NOT that we’re BETTER because of our size, but that size shouldn’t be a factor period in defining who someone is. This whole idea irritates me with all… are these battles? I don’t really want to call them battles. But, you know, when you’re trying to support a group and you decide to do it by saying mean things about another group to do it? Or you decide not to include them? For example: I have heard (on tumblr) people in the GLBT circle bashing the likes of Macklemore and telling him to stop singing about things he doesn’t understand (i.e. his song, “Same Love.”)
First of all: it’s a song SUPPORTING US. AND IT’S IN MAINSTREAM! Do you know how blown my mind was when I heard that song on the radio? Do you realize how amazing that was? A song that hit number one status that has a positive GLBT message? And it wasn’t like I needed to read between the lines, no, it was flat out about us.
Second of all: who is it that we want support from? Straight people, right? So there’s one, right there, being supportive. Why is this a bad thing? For the most part people in the GLBT family are supportive of each other (I said “for the most part” because I know there’s people within groups who bash each other and that happens in every group but I’m not going to dwell on that), we aren’t outside yelling about equality to appease each other, but to show people outside of the group that we should be in this, too. So when someone outside of the group is like, “Yes you’re right,” the correct response should not be, “You’ll never understand so stop speaking for us,” it should be, “Thank you.”
Third of all: he never said that he understands where we’re coming from, he never said, “I can relate because I’m gay too.” He’s not gay. But just because someone isn’t something doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings about the issue. Otherwise, who are we even talking to in regards to this battle for equality? I mean should we bash Beyonce for tweeting things like being for same sex marriage? Should we be like, “No sweetie you don’t understand, shut up.”
Good people understand that bashing someone or denying their rights because of race/gender/sexuality/size/whatever is wrong, and that everyone deserves the same rights and the same common courtesy. They’re on our side, so let’s not step on their toes. Let’s not be like, “Oh man I love a lady with curves skinny girls are a waste of anyone’s time.” And I’ve heard that in regards to my cosplay, and honestly, your compliment loses meaning when it’s, “You’re beautiful, way better than this person.”
More rants? No way!
Not really a rant, more of an… observation?
A friend of mine is hoping to do a plus sized cosplay panel at Anime Detour this year and I’m happy to say that she has all sorts of panelists in mind, including a male voice too. I really do think in this plus sized cosplay supportive circle we should hear more from men. I’ve said before that there’s this assumption about men being, well… pricks towards women in the geek circle, or that the ones being bashed on are always women, but that’s not the case at all. Bullying doesn’t discriminate.
Now I’m not saying the ladies don’t need love and support, because they do, and yeah there are jack ass men (i.e.: the one who continued to comment on my article this week), but I feel like all it takes is one jerk of a guy to say something for people to assume that every single guy you come across is going to be like that. They’re going to assume that “anime/cartoon characters are supposed to be skinny and beautiful,” or whatever the quote is that that guy said on my article I don’t even remember anymore. They’ll assume that all a man cares about with cosplay is if he can fantasize about the girl and that’s it. There’s no way he likes the cosplay because he likes the detail and construction and he likes the character, nope, he just wants to think about that girl in his bed. All because of that one random guy who makes a dumb ass comment.
And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but I’m guilty of this assumption, too! The first time I wore Tiana the first person who gave me a compliment was a guy and I thought, “… o.k. what parallel universe is this I’m not Catwoman I’m a Disney princess…” but honestly, I actually do have a lot of male fans! And I am deeply sorry, gentlemen, for the assumptions I made in the beginning. I’ve gotten much better about it, though :)
But I think we also assume that men don’t have issues with their body. We assume that a man can just walk around, being as plus sized as he wants, and he gets no crap for it. But that’s not true at all. There are men who are just as uncertain about this as we are, who won’t cosplay even if they want to, or they assume that they need to cosplay “the fat guy” because that’s their body type. There are men who get intimidated when they see that hard bodied shirtless Goku cosplayer and think, “Well nevermind I shouldn’t do it at all.” They see some guy pull off the skintight Venom cosplay and shake their heads because they don’t look like that, so they shouldn’t even attempt it.
So all and all, I hope this panel comes to life for Anime Detour, and I think hearing a variety of voices would be great :) If it does become a thing I’ll post about it ^^
Man it’s a ranting morning!
Sometimes I still get responses to that article I wrote. Sometimes they’re not always positive. They’re jerky with lots of swears and lowercase letters and the occasional misspelling. And sometimes I think, I can type out some elegant response to “Anime/Cartoon characters are supposed to be slim and beatiful” but then I realize… what’s the point of getting all frustrated with someone who actually thinks that every single animated character fits with some realistic model of beauty, which isn’t even realistic to begin with if you look into how much photoshopping goes into making people “beautiful,” at least according to this person’s definition or what being beatiful is.
Maybe that is what being beatiful is? That’s not how you spell beautiful so…
Or how I should be ashamed of how I look. I mean I have 12 years of a relationship, friends, family, and fans who are apparently wrong in thinking that I’m a good person, and that I’m pretty. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU! You should listen to this guy, for shame! Stop protecting me o.k.? Because clearly I’m a person who needs protection in the first place it’s not like I wrote that article to say “love yourself” I wrote that out of needing protection from my own… fatness?
Or how apparently it’s the outside appearance that makes us love these characters, not their personalities or anything, that would be silly. I’m clearly attached to Tiana for her good looks, not for her “you have to work for what you want” attitude, no that’s not it at all. I spent 25 episodes watching “Attack on Titan” because Eren’s so hot, not because it’s a gripping series that keeps you at the edge of your seat and OMG THERE’S A TITAN BEHIND YOU RUN!
And how cosplay should apparently exclude a large chunk of the fandom that even makes these characters popular in the first place. Unless, of course, you believe that everyone who enjoys anime/manga/cartoons/movies/television/video games/ect. is this skinny, beatiful person who looks like they walked right out of that series you love. Or that the creators of these series are just these flawless beings. Plus sized people are too lazy to make your favorite shows you know every single person who worked on the Avengers is as skinny as a cartoon character… wait Joss Whedon isn’t…
Or how I guess skinny cosplayers just magically look like that all the time and don’t do anything to achieve that look. Or that they don’t get any grief in the cosplay community either because they are perfect. They’re never called “fake” or “attention whores” or anything like that.
I do apologize for the existence of men like this person who can’t spell “beautiful,” because people like him are why female cosplayers are so defensive about men and assume that they’re going to be picked on by them when, in reality, male cosplayers have insecurities too. But because of people like this guy it’s assumed that men are just big bullies who have this inaccurate sense of what beauty is when, to be honest, the ones I’ve met at conventions are just as realistic as I am
Oh and I also don’t feel the need to get frustrated with comments like this because when I click on the article and see about 400+ positive remarks out of maybe 4 or 5 negative ones, I smile and put my cool kid glasses on ^^
Oh and in case you missed it this is the article I wrote, the negative comment is in there somewhere, if you don’t mind going through hundreds of positive notes (I know it’s there I get notifications lol, you don’t have to look for it)
Real talk, guys. I don’t really get the whole “plus” and “fat” thing sometimes and making fun of people for it. Well, I mean, it’s already dumb to make fun of people anyway? What I mean is… some of you have shared your pictures with me and I look at them and think, “How the hell is she/he considered fat at all?” Like when I think of “fat” I think of myself, honestly. I know I’m fat, I know this, but then I hear about others being made fun of for their weight and when I look at them they are 99.9 percent of the time smaller than me?
Not to mention that sizes are all screwed up anyway. I wish I shared what I found someone saying about them, but she pretty much commented on how, in her closet, none of the sizes are the same. She can be a 12 one day according to one store, a 16 according to another store, ect. And she’s right! I always say I’m a 28, but sometimes when I go to Lane Bryant I can fit their 24. Sometimes 28 is too loose and sometimes it’s just right. Hell, there’s like two or three dresses my wifey has that I can wear and we are nowhere NEAR the same size, those are like a 20? But they fit me and they fit me well. But how can I possible fit in something that’s 8 sizes smaller than what I normally wear?
And don’t get me started on jeans. I swear I have pairs in the same size all throughout and sometimes it’s tight on my legs, other times it’s loose and I need a belt. What is this science?
And then what is even “plus” like where does it start? I have a guilty pleasure in Top Model and I remember watching seasons and girls were “borderline plus” or “plus” and I think, “What really? That’s plus? Well damn I must be double dip that chip plus or something…” Like half the time I would get it because compared to the other girls, yeah, but other times I was like, “Are you just saying that to be different and stand out because…"
Not to mention that it feels like the clothing stores that even cater to me never show my size in their ads or magazines and things like that. You carry up to a 28, but none of the models are a 28, at all. Where’s the women who wear my ridiculous bra size? I mean yeah I guess their "plus” according to, you know, them wearing a 16 or something? But come on I know who shops at that store, because when I go looking for my large size in the clearance section (yes clearance shop ftw) it is always the first one gone. There are plenty of 14/16 shirts but 26/28? Forget it.
So I guess… I mean… I think all of you are beautiful, but it legitimately confuses me when you say you get picked on because a) ugh bullying just stop and b) wait what they think you’re fat really? I mean I know what fat is, and there’s nothing wrong with that I’m not saying that there is, but just… you do get what I’m saying?
Something I will never understand is this mindset to “stop whining.” Like, if someone is making fun of you, aren’t you supposed to stand up for yourself? With the cosplay article and stuff I’ve been told a few times (very few) to “stop whining” because that just fuels the haters more. Why is the expectation to just sit quietly, take in the nasty comments, and not say or do anything?
Granted, I didn’t say anything directly to the person who hated on me, but I did, at least, do something. There’s some people who just aren’t worth the effort because they’re literally just there to make you feel bad. But I could at least, you know, respond in my own way. I wrote an article and I fried some chicken. I said some stuff to show that, you know, this kind of thing happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there and being you. How is that “whining” at all? I’ve been told to “own up to my fat” and like, I never once said that I didn’t? I know what I am, and I flat out said that.
Also, telling someone not to complain and whine isn’t helpful. Everyone reacts differently to things. Such nasty comments don’t bother me because I already have been called a bunch of names growing up, but there’s people who aren’t like me. There’s people who are affected by words, and you telling them to “stop whining” isn’t going to solve anything. They’re not going to magically be like, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m fat I should be proud.” I wasn’t like that before. It’s not like I was magically some woman who fried chicken in the face of my haters, no. It takes time to gain confidence, and there’s nothing wrong with it taking time. It’s not o.k. to look down on a plus sized person who gets upset about being called names. How is that going to help them? “Just shut up and laugh it off,” how is that encouraging at all? That’s just going to make someone feel worse, because not only are they suddenly “a fat whale” according to some asshole, but according to you they cry too much. According to you they’re just looking for sympathy and need to suck it up and move on. But, not everyone can move on, and you’re not going to help by trying to shove them forward.
You don’t fix a negative with a negative.
Should you be ashamed of who you are? No, of course not, you should love yourself. But the way you get someone to feel that love is by encouragement, and frankly, being called a cry baby isn’t encouraging. That article wasn’t looking for sympathy, at no point was I like, “I got made fun of whoa is me,” it was flat out, “Hey I got made fun of, it happens, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love. There are a lot of people out there who will love what you do, so go out there and be you.” I mean for fuck’s sake, I fried chicken over it. I don’t need sympathy, and I’m not whining. I’m speaking my mind and telling others to not be afraid to cosplay because some asshole wants to call them names. But, at the same time, if it takes someone a minute to be at the level of confidence you want them to be at, then please, give them a minute. Eventually, they’ll be able to “laugh it off” and enjoy how wonderful they are, but if they can’t do that right this second, that’s fine too.
