I keep forgetting to share this here (lol). Here’s a way you can support my crazy endevours in this writing/cosplay space :) My partner and I are gearing up for fall convention season. Currently, we have a long trek to Texas ahead of us, and our original travel plans fell through so we’re trying to build up enough money for a Plan B, so any little bit helps.
Thanks for the support!
As you walk down this road called life, be sure to have someone who believes in you as much as Colossus believes in Deadpool.
when you wanna talk about the thing but you can’t talk about the thing because you know people will roll their eyes and be like ‘oh great she’s talking about the thing again’ so you just kind of sit there and pout because you want to talk about the thing so badly but you know if you try you’ll just get shit for it
Truth! Here’s some food for thought in all aspects that affect me on a daily basis. Please feel free to add your own experiences.
When a person of color opens up about racism they know that they’ll have to deal with someone who groans, rolls their eyes, and tells them to not blow things out of proportion. They know that killers will walk away because “we don’t know the full story” or “they have a mental illness” – which paints a horrible picture for those with mental illnesses – or "they acted in the heat of the moment.” Meanwhile, victims will be blamed because thugs/threats/suspicious/ran/didn’t listen. They know this while, at they same time, they live in a world that claims to want racial equality.
When a woman opens up about being assaulted they know that they’ll have to deal with someone who asks, “What were you wearing? Were you drunk? Did you lead them on?” “Why didn’t you defend yourself?” When she opens up about feeling uncomfortable she knows that someone will call her a bitch because “it was a compliment” or “you’re too sensitive.” While, at the same time, she lives in a world that claims to want women to feel safe at all times.
When someone who isn’t “the norm” when it comes to sexuality opens up about their rights, they know they’ll have to deal with someone who “doesn’t mind gay people, but they shouldn’t get married” or someone who “doesn’t mind transsexuals, but don’t go into our bathroom” or someone who “doesn’t believe that asexuality is real” or “bisexuals are confused” and so on… while, at the same time, they live in a world that claims to want LGBT rights.
When someone who isn’t the “ideal body” opens up about wanting to be seen beyond their weight, they know that they’ll have to deal with someone who calls them out of their name, who suddenly knows their health history, who assumes they aren’t happy or can’t be happy, who decides who they are because of the size of their body – fat or skinny. This is all while living in a world that claims that everyone can live their lives how they are most comfortable. This is all while living in a world that can’t decide what the “ideal body” is.
All of these people know these things, so a lot of times, they sit and want to speak up, but don’t, because there’s always someone who shoots them down.
So don’t be the one who shoots them down. Be the one who listens. Or, more importantly, when someone does shoot them down, be there to support them.
Insecure thoughts are going to happen, they just will. Even with all of my confidence I still have that paranoid voice in my head, that kid who was called “weird” for liking anime and video games, she still talks to me like, “They’re going to make fun of you,” “Remember when they made fun of you,” and I do worry – that’s normal. The worrying stops when the cosplay is done, I put it on, I look into the mirror, and I smile. Focus on that feeling of accomplishment when you finish that cosplay, because the only person you need to impress with your cosplay is you.
I wanted to share an interview my wifey and I got to do for Geek x Girls about our cosplay and body positivity and all that good stuff :)
All cosplay is made by my wifey Snow Tigra:) (and occasionally designed by me, like the Mario dress)
Pictures are by Nude Carbon Studios and X-Geek.
Interview is here :)
Had a great time at ACEN but the best part was definitely having my mom and nephew there. My mom is always cheering me on in this whole venture but she’s never seen me at work in person. To have her and my nephew sitting there and saying they’re proud of me just made my whole con.
Sometimes, I wonder if I can make this crazy venture work: writing books, doing crafts, promoting our cosplay and ourselves, I wonder how in the hell am I going to do this. But having them there smiling and cheering me on reminded me that I can absolutely do this.
So, with that said, thanks for a great ACEN and see you at Momocon!!!
(also thanks to the Bane cosplayer for taking a pic with my mama)
There’s two things I want to address that always come up when things like “Blackout” or “28DaysOfBlackCosplay” happen.
1. Why is this necessary?
For the “why” I’ve included a pic of me in what my partner and I called “the hate shirt.” This shirt shows just a few things that have been said to me in regards of cosplay. As you can see, they range from bashing my weight, to disqualifying my race in that “stop acting white” comment. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means that I don’t “act black” because I don’t follow the stereotypes that are often seen. I like anime, I like video games, I’m a geek, I speak in complete sentences, so somehow this isn’t “black” to some people. Black, to some people, is ugly, and lacks intelligence, and people don’t realize that such characteristics isn’t exclusive to one race. Anyone can have an ugly soul. And anyone, most certainly, can be beautiful.
For the most part, I’ve found that people do want equality for us all, but some feel that its not necessary to have movements that revolve around the group we’re working to have equality for. "Equality" does mean that all of us should be seen as equal, but the problem is that not everyone sees us as such, and until then, movements like “Blackout” and “28DaysOfBlackCosplay” are necessary. There’s two parts of it, to me. We not only have to make sure everyone is on board, but we have to make sure the group we’re fighting for feels like they’re worth it, and the sad truth is… not all black people feel like they are, because of the hate. That’s what movements like this are for: to show them that they are beautiful.
Here’s a quote from an article I wrote for Twin Cities Geek:
If someone tells me that I’m not worthy of something enough times, I’ll start to believe it. I have believed it. I’ve believed that I wasn’t worth it because of my race. I’ve believed that I was ugly. I’ve been told to “stop acting white” because I like anime, video games, and cosplay. And I know a lot of others have felt the same way because of the color of their skin. Those people need to be shown that they are beautiful, that they’re worth it, that they’re equal. It’s great to think we all should be equal but there are plenty of black people out there who think that they shouldn’t be because of the crap that gets flung at them; who think that they CAN’T be. Equality is great, but you have to WANT it, and if you feel like you’re beneath everyone around you, you’re going to think you don’t deserve it.
2. How do you stay so confident?
The truth about confidence is that it’s not a constant. It’s not one of those things that, once you have it, it’ll be there forever. You will have bad days. I’m 31 years old and I am a confident person, but that doesn’t mean I’m confident all the time. I do have bad days. I do falter. I do have moments where I wonder if I’m wrong, somehow, whether its looks, or the things I’m into. Sometimes I get comments like the ones on the shirt I’m wearing and they hurt, real bad, and I wonder if I should just listen to the hate and stop what I’m doing. And you know what? It’s o.k. to get upset. It’s o.k. to be hurt. I get hurt, I get sad, I curl up under a blanket and don’t want to come out.
The trick is to not STAY like this.
When I do have faltering moments, I take time out to breathe and remember the positives, and the positives are there. I have an amazing partner who loves me and supports me. I have friends. I have family. I have fans. I have people who have come up to me at conventions to say that I was the reason they came. I have people who message me such wonderful, positive things. These are the things you should focus on. Surround yourself with support. If its not in your “real” life, find it online, because it’s there. There’s groups who support our differences, and promote them, and are there for you if someone is giving you a hard time. You’re not alone in this.
Move at your own pace. Don’t look at the person next to you and think you’re doing something wrong if they’re further than you. It’s o.k. if you’re not there yet. It’s taken me years to have the confidence to wear that shirt I’m wearing and say, “You said this shit about me, so what? I’m still here.” It’s taken a long time, and even if I am confident, like I said, some days I’m not. Some days, that shirt cripples me. Some days, I feel ugly, useless, and not worth anyone’s time. And that’s fine. Your feelings are your own and there’s nothing wrong with them. The way confidence works is that, when you do get in that head space, you’re able to take a breath, close your eyes, and slowly dispel the negativity. Then, when you look at it you realize… there’s no reason to let it hold you back.
It can make you stumble, it can even make you fall, but you have the power to get back up and keep going.
By Jean Jullien.
Visual representation on how we let technology ruin social interactions and pleasant experiences.
Me: *hates this*
why do baby boomers love to produce this “technology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch” garbage?
fuck THIS
I never see a cashier with an empty queue. Self-serve checkout machines make life GREAT for people with social anxiety or self conscious people. I get nervous that everyone is judging my weight. So when I do my monthly ice-cream, chocolate, and menstrual products run, I will do it with a fucking self-serve machine.
I’m happy seeing my friends take photos of their food. I like taking photos of my food. Because there is a chef in the back of the kitchen who works hard to plate things beautifully and in any other situation, people dive in immediately and ruin that image. We take photos to preserve that image and who the fuck knows, if I was the chef I would be digging through instagram hoping to see my plate on there. We’re celebrating someones hard work, work that is generally temporary.
And I don’t know what kind of friends you have, but if someone is taking a photo of their food, I’m not gonna bother talking to them until they’re done. Why would you try to have a conversation when someone is busy?? And it takes a few minutes, you can wait for someone who wants to perform a small act of creativity.
It’s nice to get likes on instagram. If you’re monogamous and on tinder, it’s not technology’s fault you’re contemplating cheating. What is SO BAD about having food delivered to your home? And is there anything wrong with having movies streaming instantly? No - but if you complain that Netflix takes up your life than be an adult and step back. It’s not technology’s fault that you have no self control.
Selfies are fun. Selfies are great. Your friend is a jerk if they don’t even take a minute to take of photo of you as well. Why do you care if people use technology around you on the subway? That makes me feel less self-conscious that people are staring or judging me. They can play their games, read, etc. Someone is occupied, why is that so wrong?
Your phone has a zoom option so you can record/photograph a concert? FUCKING good for you!
And again. If your phone keeps you up, be an adult, get some self control and step back.
Technology isn’t bad. You’re just upset with yourselves for having a lack of self-control. You hate that people connect through technology. And maybe, you just don’t like seeing people love themselves, enjoy life, and feel joy. That’s your problem, not technology’s.
^^^ bang on.
i’ll just leave this here:
Bless
Speaking as someone who met their partner of 13 years online on a goddamn Gundam Wing yaoi mailing list, and spent 5 years in a long distance relationship that consisted of chatting every night… yes, please, stop with the technology hate and assuming that it’s killing our ability to socialize. Thanks to technology, not only did I find her, but I’ve found a bunch of support groups for black people, fat people, the LGBT community, geeks, women, and all sorts of things that I, at some point in my life in the “real world,” have been told I was wrong about. "Too fat.“ "Not a real black girl.” “Girls don’t do this.” “Gay people shouldn’t marry.” Thanks to technology and the internet, I’ve gotten so much support for being who I am, I have no idea what I’d do without it.
If you ever wonder how I can stay positive when I get hate just look at the fact that so many of you spoke up. Seriously, as much hate that exists there is just as much, if not more, love. Don’t let one person stop you, not a single one. If you need some positivity just look around you, it’s there, don’t let the hate cover the truth: this can be an encouraging, wonderful place.
Thanks, everyone :)
http://www.yourholidaymom.com/ is a blog run by a bunch of moms (and sometimes other parents) who will post a letter to you daily until Christmas with words of acceptance and welcome. It was designed specifically as a project for kids and adults who face rejection over the holidays because of their sexuality or gender. This meant a lot to me the first year that I was isolated by my family, and I wanted to share it with all of you.
I heard about this, this is wonderful!
These quotes are all things that have been said to me in regards to my body and my race. It’s not everything that’s ever been said to me, oh no, not even close, but they’ve been said as recently as last month.
Don’t let the negatives take over, don’t let them weigh you down and dictate who you are. Don’t let them cover up the things that make you, you.
Reblogging because it’s totally relevant for today. Today we can add the following to that list above: Cow, Hippo, Wonder What to Eat Woman, Wonder Bread Woman, Wonder Blob, Wonder Water Buffalo, Blunder Woman, Fat Slob, Wonder Whale, Wonder Why Woman. All in one day. This is not including questions like, “I wonder how she got in that costume.”
The message at the bottom is still the same: Don’t let someone else’s hang-ups cover who you really are. People don’t like a fat, black Wonder Woman? The amount of fucks I give about that is the fattest form of zero.
This is my beautiful, loving, stunning, inspirational, creative and amazing wife. I love how she always speaks out positively about things even when certain people aren’t so positive toward her. We’ve been together 13 years and people can say whatever they want but I love her and you better be damn sure that I’m going to keep making her amazing dresses and you’re going to keep seeing her everywhere.
And if you don’t like it? Then go find somewhere else on the internet to spew your hate and self loathing thoughts because they will not gain traction here.
Reblogging because my wifey is amazing and supportive and I just wanna hug her to pieces <3
